Forward Motion

I've been talking in my head for weeks about spiritual gifts, raising little girls, being a young wife, and increasing my milk supply/cup size by drinking Mother's Milk tea on the regular (the illusion of perkiness is what matters here, folk) but instead, I bring to you this little nugget of my life:

Running.

Back up to last Saturday.
I quit my fast, decide I'm special enough to back out of my promises to God. And I'm antsy.
Monday comes along and I tell Eamon "I just need to sweat" (which I follow up with a stern reminder that certain sweaty activities need to wait 'less we end up with Burke Baby number 3).
So while the girls nap I pop in 30 Day Shred and get after it. Strange thing though...I don't die. True story. I lived to tell the tale. As a matter of fact, I hardly broke a sweat. The sad, sad truth of it all, is that it's so much easier for me to work out with 40 pounds off of me that I was working with this time last year. (From post-partum weight until now, I've lost a total of 60 pounds. And I would gain it all back if I could have pizza once a week again. Bet.)
The next morning I woke up sore, but not the dibilating soreness that I'm used to. Sure, I played it up and made Eamon get all the groceries off of the bottom shelves for me, but it really wasn't that bad.
Then, one of my friends posted on facebook that she needs a running buddy. I live like 5 seconds from her so it was kind of a no brainer. The catch- H is flipping super woman. Homegirl runs like 10+ miles a week which is exactly 10+ more miles than I've ran in about 5 years. So there's that.
All week I stay active, stare at Jillian's flexi-Barbie Doll abdomen, make sure I sweat a little (which, by the way is harder than it used to be. Why didn't you skinny people tell me you're freezing ALL THE TIME?!) and kinda dread Friday morning. The morning I said I'd "run" with Hannah. It finally occurs to me, I've never ever ever in my whole life ran without an inhaler. I used to have acute asthma and use 3 different inhalers a day, at least. My body has never ran without steroids in it's lungs. Yes they help, and man did they take away the pain, but I have no idea what my body is actually capable of.

This morning comes, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear, it's raining. YESSSSS. Time to stay in bed.
But lo and behold...7:30 rolls around and the rain has subsided. That takes care of that. Let's do this.
I stretch and decide to take a "warm up run" to the farmers market where we are supposed to meet. The first few blocks are up hill, then it's all downhill. Halfway up the hill I start having a hard time. We're talking a few blocks people. But I decide to just go, just push, let's see what I can do today.
I make it to the top of the hill, then feel the freeing, exhilarating feeling of running down hill on a misty morning. I've never actually experienced that. I realize then that I've been keeping my pace with my favorite praise song in my head (couldn't find my ipod) and take the few minutes to enjoy the morning and invite God into my run. And just like that, I was at the Farmer's Market.

By the time my sweaty, still somehow gorgeous at 8 in the morning friend gets there she says "Oh, I've already run 3 miles, but I could do another if you want."

Oh. right. You already did three. I did...what, 5 blocks...that's like...at least five miles. Psh. Easy.

As to not look like a wimp, I take her up. My run there was great. I felt good. And just like any great 90s sitcom, I all of a sudden can't run. My calf starts seizing up on me and this spritely gazelle in front of me sees past the gorgeous, ambiguously mixed race goddess, and sees the frizzy headed 7th grader complaining to her basketball coach that "It Hurts." Thanks calves. Traitors.

So I go around the block with her and take the walk of shame limping home.
Loser.

Oh, but don't worry, once I got on my street I made sure to sprint the last few blocks home,  I also laid out in my front yard, did some of my best yoga cool down moves, and some bicycle crunches so, you know, everyone would think I was doing that the whole time. Chumps.

Rewind again to Thursday. Eamon is trying his hardest to sweetly tell me how foolish I am for quitting my fast because it was hard. The fasting part wasn't hard, but the not getting any business, not being able to stay in touch with my friends, not feeling supported (read, not having someone cheer for me every time I didn't log on to facebook and tell me how awesome I am). Forget the fact that instead of wasting time I've been digging deep into my photography craft. Instead of scrolling through friends that I've hid on fb because I am jealous of their lives, stirring up bitterness in my heart, I am more familiar with the map of my Bible. Forget the fact that instead of thinking in status updates and concerning myself with why I didn't get more "likes" for the clearly hilarious comment I left on someone's picture, I have actually caught myself praying, or worshiping our Savior without knowing it.

As I sat down to write this, I realized that this fast has been like my first run without an inhaler.
I'd never done something like that before. I was so excited to see how far I could push my body, to defy what I thought my lungs were capable of, and fool myself into thinking I wasn't going to smack myself in my face with my boobs. I was eager to see what my body could do without those helpful steroids. But my soul...my soul I've kept more guarded. Instead of nurturing an eagerness to push my spiritual limits, I was content with the help of those steroids. I wanted that '"feel good fast." The one where, since your fasting, you and all of your friends become closer, you get a raise, and you never have a bad hair day. You're encouraged by all of these good things that forward motion is easy. Your lungs never burn, your calves never seize up.


A few hours ago I checked my "Map My Run" website, knowing that I didn't actually finish the route that I'd planned for that morning. Mapping what I ran and walked back [not including the block that I totally failed at being impressive with my friend] and it was a mile and a half! Not bad, right?! Then I mapped just what I ran... Three quarters of a mile! Half of that was uphill! I can't remember when I ran .75 miles consecutively, let alone without my inhaler.

Needless to say, I am continuing [possibly starting over] my fast.

Here's something else I've been "digging into" (boooo! ;] )

Hopefully this fall we will have sweet potatoes!
Hope you all have a great Father's Day weekend.

XO,
Mae

Three Things You Didn't Know About Me

In light of all of the business I created for myself today, I'd like to wound down my night on a lighter note :]

So here are 3 silly things you may not know about me!

1. Until the day after my wedding, I never met a raw tomato I liked.
Just the thought of them made me want to barf my brains out. For our wedding, one of our friends gave us a basket of homegrown tomatoes. OH.MY.GOSH. They were plump, they were marbled, they were tart and sweet all at once, and they barely had any seeds. I was in HEAVEN. Now, grocery store tomatoes still give me the heeby-jeebies, but OUR tomatoes, they're going FAST!
Every day when I water the plants, Lily comes with me and pinches all of the tomatoes, as if she's checking them. When she gets to the red ones she looks at me and squeals [melting my heart as I think about it!] and waits for the go. When I tell her it's okay she pulls with ALL her might. Sometimes I have to loosen them just a little, but man oh man, she doesn't even wait for me to take them inside, she just gets after em! What's funnier is she is really attracted to the ones that fit just inside her fist, see:

Today's loot.


Lily finally gets her pick.

The pay off was so good ;]




2. I have a crush on Barack Obama.
...what? I didn't say I liked his politics. I didn't say I wanna have his babies. But I AM saying that I watch as many of the State of the Union and Presidential addresses and I am only telling a half truth when I say it's to "stay up to date". I wish he narrated audio books.

and don't you DARE tell Eamon...I still haven't heard the end of "You think SAWYER is hot." I was labeled a betraying hypocrite for weeks... Now if he finds out that his constitutionalist wife finds the Democratic Mr. President sexy...well, I fear for our marriage.

3. I've known from the time I was a little girl that I wanted to be a mommy.
When storms or hurricanes would come through South Texas, I would always make sure my sisters took a bath. Then I brushed and put up all of their hair, made sure they had warm pajamas on [even though it was probably like 95 degrees outside...whoops] and then have them get their baby dolls ready. What do I mean, get their baby dolls "ready" They all got cleaned, brushed, and tucked in to their respective spots in our beds. Yup. I was eight when I had three younger sisters. And I did this until they all grew out of baby dolls. Go ahead, call me crazy.

Hope you all have a good night!
Mae

Another week...

Another week has gone by of me doing TONS of "behind the scenes work" and it seems like I've got nothing to show for it. I've got tons to blog about, but here's our week in pictures :]

Found this awesome recipe for Lentil Burgers...SO YUM. I made a tahini sauce to put over them with some greens we had left from our garden... LOVED them.


No bread for me :[ haha



Uh, so ya...ANOTHER waterline exploded overnight so we went ANOTHER day without water. And there was LITERALLY a jackhammer, circular saw, lawn mower, weed eater, and a vacuum cleaner all running at once when I tried to put Lily down for a nap.



Aaaand...sometimes I get snap happy when I'm around Lily...SHE'S JUST TOO DANG CUTE!




I went inside [two seconds] to get my camera to take pics of our garden, and this is what I find:



The tomato plant in the back is as tall as me!



And these suckers are gonna get eaten tomorrow! I got lunch and dinner covered....mmmmm
Well, it doesn't seem possible, but even though it seems I'm cleaning non-stop, my house is a wreck...SO I will be back later this weekend :]
Mae

Preparing for Vacation, Oximoron?

Sorry for my absence! I have been getting our house ready for vacation!
We leave Monday night after Eamon gets off work and are headed to Rockport! Woo!

I try to post some sneak peaks of a maternity shoot I'm doing Sunday [YAY!] and then our vacation meal plan. Very, VERY excited to spend a whole week with my little trio and see our family :]

I got my macro lens today, and played around with it for a bit today...


AND Our tomato plants are going crazy! We've got about 2 dozen tomatoes growing.

I may or may not be holding one of our plants up with an old guitar stand...


Well, hope your Friday night is lovely, back to packing and planning and cleaning for me ;]
Mae

Meal Plan Monday

We've had a very, very busy day today!
Lots of cleaning, prepping, digging in the garden. But it's been good!

Here's what I got from the garden today to have with dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow!
Isn't it beautiful? :] SO excited for the next bunch to grow.

Thanks to our AMAZING friend, Heather, our family now has a dehydrator! I've been experimenting like crazy. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

SO, here's what we are cookin this week :]

****OHMYGOSH for about 3 minutes I couldn't find my meal plan...I almost died. I do meal plans by the month...FOUND IT!****

Breakfasts:
Lily:

• Steamed egg yolks [go here to see more on how to prepare]
  
• Fruit or veggies steamed

E&M:

• Steamed eggs with fruit
• Omlet with homemade soaked wheat rolls
• Soaked Oatmeal
• Soaked Muesli
• Soaked Panckakes [SO good, we served them last week with Amish butter and raw, local honey and steamed fruits. It was very filling! We used the recipe right out of NT because I didn't really like most of the ones I found online]
• Soaked Dutch Baby Pancakes [So far, this is Eamon's favorite "soaked" recipe]

***any recomendations to make this not so runny/griddy/DONE in the middle?

• Fried Eggs with Homemade yogurt

Lunches:

• Salad w/pan fried fish [talapia, flounder, or salmon]
• Fish [the same mentioned above] with brown rice and steamed veggies
• Hummus plate [chic peas soaked for 24 hours and cooked in the crockpot over night. VERY tedious, but noticeably tastier.
  

Snacks

• Laver [nori]
• Fruit/veggies
• dehydrated fruits and veggies
  
• sweet potato fries
• Yogurt
• brown rice crackers [Lily is LOVING these]
  

Dinners:
Monday: Roasted veggies with macarroni and salad

Tuesday: To the Brownings for supper and Lost [there was NO Lost last week and no one told us, there were riots in the streets I tell you].

Wednesday: Persian Black Eyed Peas

Thursday: Fried brown rice with shrimp

Friday: Creamy Tomato Soup with Israeli cous-cous.

Saturday: Pizza [the regular crust is back after being berated by E about tampering with our "perfect pizza dough"...]

Sunday: Angel Hair pasta with feta and broccoli.


What's going on in your kitchen this week?

PS
Thank you all so much for the encouraging comments, emails, and phone calls concerning my last post. It was overwhelmingly sweet :]

Mae

16 Year Old Maegan VS 20 Year Old Mae, How I Found My Purpose

Today as I was driving around listening to Taking Back Sunday, planning my chore list, dehydrating recipes, diaper schedules and my purpose, I felt a familiar pair of eyes glare at me. Sixteen year old me was judging away, again. She sat in the seat next to me, one foot hanging out the window, hardly able to see through the eyeliner and bangs, shaking her head.

"Who are you?!?"

I felt...shamed.
What did she know? She's never been outside her spoiled little beach town. She wasn't even planning to be alive, yet alone live. Why should I let her look down on me?
Because she had big plans, though she didn't want anyone to really know. She was gonna be a college graduate to go on and teach underprivileged youth how to play music. She was gonna organize protests, write scathing letters to the New York Times, only to be offered her own column. She was gonna travel the world with her college graduate husband who was taking time off from teaching music theory at Oxford. We'd feed the poor, eat exotic foods, make passionate love with no consequences, and take on the world, one LP at a time.

I heard her first "tisk, tisk" when I dropped out of college. I told her, my family, my friends, my employers, co-workers, casual strangers, and myself over and over again "God told me to!" And no matter how many times He reassured me, her nay-saying stuck.
Then, after negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test, she rejoiced. Leaping for joy screaming "HELLO!?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?" Get you're butt back in school and stop acting crazy. You're 19, you can't have A BABY!"
After Lily was born, she softened...but just a little "Oh, she's SO cute! Now that you're home all the time, get a sitter and get online! You're too smart to just sit there."

But once she started to manifest herself in other people in my life, I started to call her bluff. Several of my friends started to point out that the majority of my highschool class is pregnant, engaged, married, or a combination of any two. And it started to anger me. As if it was something to scoffed at. An old mentor started to change her tone saying that she was glad her kids finished college because they aren't having to go through what we are...[what?] These things started to seem more and more ridiculous.

Today I shut her up and started to ask the questions. While I was slicing fruits for our dehydrator, she raised her finger to wag and I shut her down. After years of growing further and further apart, I finally asked the one question that mattered "Why are we so different?!?"
And the answer came immediatly.
Jesus.
Sixteen year old Maegan didn't have Jesus. She didn't have purpose, and she didn't know love. Sure, she was ambitious, drivin, and determined, but her wisdom was enormously limitted.


All of this has re-affirmed what the Lord has been teaching me the past few weeks: my purpose. During our bible study a few weeks ago, the author of our book led us through an incredibly hard challange; pray through our personal purpose statement. Eamon laughed when I told him "I need to be alone for about an hour, I'm gonna figure out my life" and truth be told, so did I!
But through this, I came to some amazing truth for my life, that will help shape our purpose statement for our family.
I've been debating on sharing this with my readers, but after talking with 16 year old Maegan, I felt like I should ;] Accountability, confession, praise, are all reasons why I want to let you in on this. And who knows, maybe this can be some inspiration for you!
As I began to pray, I asked the Lord to reveal some scripture to me that are specific to my heart, my purpose. Without even finishing my sentence, Proverbs 31:10- 31 came to mind.

^"10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
¹¹The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
¹³She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
¹⁴She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
¹⁵She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
¹⁶She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
¹⁷She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
¹⁸She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
¹⁹She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

I prayed over and over for the Lord to be clear. I love this verse, and was wondering whether or not this was my decision, not His. But He confirmed.
He then pointed me over, and over again for about 30 minutes to Titus 2: 3-5

³Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, ^F)">(F)not malicious gossips nor ^G)">(G)enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
⁴so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
⁵to be sensible, pure, ^H)">(H)workers at home, kind, being ^I)">(I)subject to their own husbands, ^J)">(J)so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

This was very daunting. This is who I am to be. To be a teacher, having my passion confirmed. WHEW!
Then I had Him lead me through a prayer, and what happened next was an absolutely goosebump inducing experience that I am longing for in every prayer I have with Him. His prayer for my life was a parable of gardening...HOW FREAKIN COOL?!? So, I'll leave you with what I wrote that night.

Father,
I ask that you break* down all expectations I have for myself, my family, my friends, and of You. I ask that you grow* my heart for the contentment of simplicity, cleaning my home and heart of blinding clutter. I pray for nourishment* in my home through wholesome food, receiving only what is good for our bodies, as our hearts receive only Your word. I pray my knowledge of you blossoms*, allowing me to teach Your word to my chidren and the women in my life. I pray that I will be capable of loving unconditionaly by the time Your bounty has come to harvest*.
As I wrote this, a very specific vision came to mind:
Break- The Lord tilling, and breaking the soil unearthing the good nutriant on the top soil
Grow- a sprouted sead that requires specific Sun and
Nourishment- water being poured over the sprout resulting in...
Blossoms- the first sign of fruit that will be ripe in the Spirit
Harvest- hefty, full, vibrant fruit, worthy of God's praise


What has He shown you for your life? Have you ever taken the time to find out? Do you have a similar experience? Would the sixteen year old you approve? ;] Tell me all about it
Mae

A morning in our garden

For some picture practice, I got up this morning to take some pictures of our garden. We have a 7[ish]'X2' spot in the back underneath Lily's window for salad items; lots of swiss chard, butter lettuce, romaine, and tomatoes :]

Everything is starting to sprout and bloom! Check it out!

As soon as I opened her window...dirt.

aaaand into the mouth.


I'm one lucky mama


lettuce sprouts

swish chard

Tomato plant one


Complete with our first tomato!

Dear cute tomato, Please get big and juicy and inspire all of the other slackers on our plant to get to growing :]

Dear Stupid bug, get the heck away from my tomato. I will squash you like the demon nutrition sucker you are....

And here's tomato plant number 2


I crawled out of the window to get more pictures. This is one of those "Do what I say, not what I do" moments... Silly baby


We're also growing lavender and Lilies here:


And we have a lemon tree, complete with some seriously cute lemon buds.


And this is where the flippin birds at the bloom


I've got some sunflowers growing in the pot that I made Eamon [complete with squash babies] for one of his wedding presents.


When we came back inside, I closed the window so Lily [AND Rusty] couldn't get out, but she still tried to scoot UNDER the two inch gap...


And ended up loosing a book.



Well! There's a look at our salad garden! Hope you have an awesome weekend!
Mae

Sunday Recipe Share

And the winner for this week's recipe vote is:

Sweet Rice with Almonds, Pine Nuts and Honey!
This dish is GREAT with a super spicy stir fry. The combination of flavors is outta this world! I'm sure you could even pair it with your favorite curry.
Wanna kick up your current stir fry? Just add red chili flakes or a cayenne pepper, but remember to do so SLOWLY. Too much, too fast is a lot of work to repair, trust me ;]

Ingredients [serves 6]

• 2 cups of water*
• 1 cup long grain white rice*
• .25 cup chopped almonds
• 3 TBS of pine nuts
• 3 TBS honey
• 1.5 TBS soy or tamari sauce

* The original recipe calls for brown rice, and while there are more benefits to brown, I prefer white with my Asian dishes.
And just to put it out there, the argument that "brown rice is what we used to eat" is false. We had NO way of keeping the endosperm on the grain until recently. Think of the grain of rice like a peanut. You have the shell, the endosperm, then the nut. Brown rice is like a peanut with it's "skin" still on.

Preperation

1. Heat rice in pan with about half a tablespoon of coconut oil [olive oil or butter will do just fine but coconut goes better flavor wise] Heat on high until all grains are covered with oil and are very hot. Add water and bring to a boil. Once rice has boiled for about a minute, reduce the heat to low, cover, and continue cooking for 15 minutes.
2. While the rice is cooking, heat a saute pan with a tsp of coconut oil over medium high heat. Toast almonds and pine nuts liightly. WATCH THEM, they go from toasty to burned very quickly.
3. Spoon rice into a serving bowl with nuts, honey and soy sauce. Mix well and serve hot!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
Today was perfect. Eamon took Rusty on a long walk and as I was nursing Lily I got a text saying "You've gotta come see Rusty at the park." ? What was the big deal? I take him to the park all the time? So I put Lily in the stroller and went to the park to find Eamon and Rusty running around playing fetch. It was adorable! Then we played with Lily on the swings and slide and all walked home.
Then we went to Lowe's and got everything we need for our gardens! We are very excited. We bought some seeds for beautiful flowers to go under the window sill in front of our dining room window [CUTE!]. For the salad garen in the back we got a variety of lettuce, two tomato plants, and a variety of sweet and hot peppers. We also have some sunflowers that I am very excited about. But not AS excited as I am about our Meyer Lemon tree!!! EEEEEK! I go through so many lemons, and they are my FAVORITE fruit. When Lily was born, we saved her placenta to plant under the tree of our first home. We thought it would be perfect to plant in one of the huge empty pots we have from last year and transplant it to our home in Austin next summer. I am SO excited to do this. Call me weird, but I just can't think of a better fertilizer! The life that sustained my baby will fertilize a tree that we hope to have forever! Haha, I guess you can tell I'm excited huh?

Well, enjoy the rest of your Sabbath if that happens to be today. I have got to get the bedtime routine started [daylight savings time couldn't have come at a better time, I've been trying to push Lily's bedtime an hour back anyway!] Then to walk the dog and work out.

ox, Mae