Wednesday, October 30, 2013

They Do Not Even Know How To Blush

We've all been there, ladies.
Hangin out with your lady friends, trying out clothes at the mall or in someone's living room at a clothing swap, or bathing in our pantaloons near a wild riverside... No, slap out of it, that never happens in real life, weirdo... Anyway there's that one girl with the rockin' bod- long legs, big butt (but not too big) teeny tiny waist, big boobs, appropriately trendy hair- and all the other lady friends are silently hating her (or not silently, if you're into verbally abusive friendships) while she tries on that one pair of jeans that seem to not fit anyone "just right". Except her.
A friend recently recounted one of these scenarios to me at a loss for words. Her friends urged her to try on a crop top. There is little to no evidence that she's grown several giant babies in her Barbie tight tummy so her friends NEEDED to see what this non-complete piece of clothing is "supposed to look like." Since she and everyone else there was saved, she offered up "I'm way too modest to wear something like" to which all of her friends- whom she had prayed with, walked through engagements and marriages with, had pledged to raise up chaste children with- stood in protest. "Noooooo, you are so hot!", "If I had YOUR body..." She just rolled her eyes, threw the shirt back on the "Ain't nobody got time for that" rack and changed the subject.
No one wants to be the wet blanket and kill the Girls Night Out Buzz (except for me, apparently. don't invite me to fun things, your other friends will hate you. I'll probably bring up how the sushi you ordered isn't sustainable, or how slave children mined for your engagement ring diamond. no like, YOURS specifically) so she kept her thoughts to herself, but what she couldn't help but think "What if you DID have my body? Then what? You'd show it off?" Her friends, who know and love Jesus, momentarily let their guard down and mistook modesty for self-hate.
See, we've tricked ourselves into thinking that the calling to not bring attention to our bodies (1 Thess 4:6) brings devastation on our beauty. We've flipped "modesty" on it's head and rather than using it to honor ourselves, we've assigned meekness and unworth to it. We have even over-corrected the attitude of "girls, dress yourselves not like hoes to protect our defenseless men" (wrong) to "men, don't be dawgs, ladies be dressin like hoes if we want, quit yo starin!" (still wrong) instead of embracing the empowerment of handling our beauty in a Godly manner, which produces a righteous shame.
And it's hard to do so, REALLY! I've got bewbs for days. Like, if breasts were a trade-able commodity, I could run a co-op out of my shirt. And according to society, this is what er'ybody wants (men and women) and I need not be ashamed of my "curvy" goods but WORK. IT. OUT. But ladies, in the world of deep v tees, shorts that require underwear that is thinner than most of my favorite pasta types so they don't hang out, and skirts that my toddlers could wear as a headband, we've just got to say no. Let's remember that the Kingdom's riches are far more satisfying than any sideways, stolen gawks- wanted or otherwise. To be "shameful" as Jeremiah pointed out (Jer 6:13-15) is to still have the ability to blush at sinful behavior. To be able to recognize and weep for sin, and that is BEAUTIFUL!

(I'm currently working on a series in my head, "Modesty Matters". If you'd like to pray for my heart as I write this, I would greatly appreciate it.
Be back soon with lots of info about more changes in the Burke home)

Thursday, October 10, 2013

"Don't Stand So Close To Me"

I recently asked a young lady to please respect me, my girls, and my husband by wearing more conservative clothes when she is around us. Her response- "He's happily married, isn't he?"
I was floored. All she was saying is if that he wasn't happily married, she was there to give him something to at least look at.

Last Sunday, only a few minutes after getting home from church Eamon's phone rang.
This is a pretty normal occurrence after church since we moved back. Meet new people, hand out our numbers, badda bing, badda boom, friends.
Eamon answered, but whoever it was hung up. He called them right back saying "this is Eamon, sorry I missed your call, give me a call whenever you're free."
Shortly after that he received a text that read
"how old r u? can we b friends?

My red flag went up, but still assuming that it may be one of the kiddos we were talking to after church, Eamon responded. A young woman on the other end of the line proceeded to tell him that she was someone who he knew from high school. Eamon and I didn't remember anyone at church with her name (which was probably, hopefully fake) that he went to high school and responded by telling her he doesn't carry on any type of relationship with women in private, but if she is looking for a friend, he would gladly give her my information or introduce her to some great women at our church and gave her our church's info and service times. She responded with "whatever, I lied. I'm 16" and continued to explain that she was looking for someone to hook up with, and that if he wasn't going to, could he point her in the direction of an available male.

Immediately, I was enraged, then disgusted, then worried for this young lady's safety.
What you are doing, little girl, is very dangerous.
If I were a woman of the world, I would have the right mind to find you and knock some sense into you.
I would find out who your parents are and make sure they do not leave you alone with your phone.
I would tell you that had you reached any other man in our area, that yes, you may have gotten the sex you wanted, but you also may have been kidnapped, beaten, sold...the dangers are numerous.
I would also give you a quick kick in your pants. THAT. IS. MY. HUSBAND. You may not walk up to him, with me or alone, and ask him to meet with you privately, let alone have sex with you. You may not call him, text him, email him, snap chat him, instagram him. None of it. None of these things are appropriate. And if you are sitting there in your room typing random numbers until you find someone, know that you may reach someone else's husband. And though your luck to find a sexual partner may be better, your chances of finding a woman with less restraint is also higher.

Mothers, wives. THIS. IS. REAL.
I've heard of this happening before, but it is all too real.
Yes, your teens and tweens are posting scandalous pictures of themselves on the internet. Yes, they are even tagging their location so anyone can find them. Some of them have a tiny bit of sense and make their various social media accounts private, but in instances like these, they are just looking for a stranger. To validate their sexual desire because they feel this is the only way to create self worth.

When I was 16/17 my husband and I were "forbade" to be dating because I got in some serious, serious trouble. During this time I got a text from a random website asking me if I wanted to know what "hot single guys" in my neighborhood were up to. I'm an intelligent girl. I was a virgin until I got married. I sent "yes" as my response. Months went by and nothing came of it. Eamon and I were released from my parental prison and began to see each other again. And one night, while I was watching tv, I got the text. A man, who I don't know, asked me for a sexual favor and to meet him soon if I'd be willing to "help him out." I was very scared, and very confused. I responded by telling him that I didn't know who he was and to never contact me again and he said "Why would you have signed up for 'such and such' service if *this* isn't what you wanted?" And I cried and cried, not realizing what I got myself into. The next day I confessed to Eamon what I did and he unsubscribed from the service for me.

This young lady (older than my own mother was when she had me) knew what she was doing, however, as most young girls these days. She knew she wanted sex. She knew that she wasn't having any luck at school. And she was alone. I don't know if her mother knows she feels this way, but the awkwardness of having the sex talk is incomparable to the pain she would feel if her daughter were raped, or physically abused because of these actions.

I don't know if young women have always been like this, or if it is just getting worse day by day, but I do know that I'm holding on to my girls' innocence, not naivety until they are able to handle it with a Christ filled heart on their own.

Prov 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."