Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A lot to be thankful for

At the end of 2009/beginning of 2010 we were in a rough patch...for a couple of months. It seemed like every week I had to send out a new prayer request to fill our hungry bellies, heal Eamon's toe, fix our car, SOMETHING. This actually made someone we know send us an email to the effect of
"No one can have that much need all of the time. Either you think it's worse than it is, or you're doing something wrong."
It hurt, and made me really bitter. And since then, I hate asking for help.

So...in the past two months the past events have played out like this:

  • Eamon switches his job and takes a huge pay cut of about 60%.
  • We get cut off of Food Stamps bc I missed an appointment [bc we only have one car...]
  • Rusty gets attacked my a pit bull through our living room window.
  • New rowdy neighbors threaten Eamon and accuse him of being racist.
  • Lily falls and cracks her head open, getting 27 stitches.
  • We end up staying at friends houses bc we don't feel safe in our apartment because of threatening neighbor man.
  • We move into a new apartment.
  • And in two weeks, Eamon won't have a job for a few weeks because of Christmas break.

Add to this me being pregnant and you have a helluva mess.

But last week, I had to ask for help. I was falling apart, having panic attacks, not knowing what to do about much of anything. I felt stupid. I sent out an email to a dozen of my friends and birth team letting them know our stress situation, and ask them for help. It's the week of Thanksgiving y'all...I don't expect much help, and I'm scared to death of being judged.

But my God is good, and even more, He oversees everything. His widdled down my support group to the most beautiful, gracious, giving, selfless, wonderful women. Every one of them came through for me in some way. Bringing us groceries, volunteering their husbands to help us...ahem, Eamon, move, ordering us a meal or bringing one over so I don't have to cook, covering me in prayer, bringing Lily winter clothes...It's been a bit overwhelming how much love there is in my life right now. I continue to pray blessings over them and their families and hope that one day I'm in the position to help someone like they've helped me.

So despite being in crisis mode for all of the reasons listed above, this is what I will be giving thanks for:

  • Reevaluating our budget to put every penny to God's perfect use.
  • Rusty being completely healed and on guard at our new apartment.
  • New neighbors with a daughter who's a month younger than Lily.
  • Lily's nearly healed head that looks like a cat scratch now.
  • Friends who will support and help us through a million different situations
  • A new, bigger, nicer apartment [with two bathrooms! The tub is deep enough to cover my belly!!!]
  • And an opportunity for Eamon to find a better job come this holiday season, hopefully carrying on through the next year

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! December is tomorrow! Hope it's starting to get chilly where you are!

Oh and let's not forget our tiniest [well, by weight] blessing :]


Sunday, November 21, 2010

"So, Tell Us What Happened, Mom..."

This is a picture I took of Lily on Wednesday afternoon when we were waiting for Eamon to come home from work to go to the grocery store.

This is a picture I took of her yesterday afternoon after trying to clean her 15 stitches.

What on earth happened in those few days?

Eamon and I were both having crappy, lowsy, no good, rotten days. Half of his coworkers quit in one day and left him with an overwhelming amount of work. I had appointments and housework and [moms will totally get this] I couldn't get Lily down for a nap. I was at my wit's end! 

Around 4:30ish Lily was getting super antsy for some food, and I had roast in the crockpot, but was just gonna make her some toast to tide her over. I had dehydrated some sweet potatoes earlier that day, and they were on the kitchen table. Lily climbed up on a chair as I was getting her snack and all I heard was a BAM and a cry I can't even begin to describe. 

What happened next I can't really talk about without getting sick to my stomach. I look over expecting to see that, duh, she fell. I then realized that wasn't her normal cry, thinking she smashed her fingers under the back of the chair. Still looking at the ground looking for her fingers, I saw the blood. Lily then looked at me as blood gushed out down her face. [Pregnancy makes me cry too much thinking about it. I've had Eamon praying over me about it for days... It was something I've had nightmares about since she was born.] I saw the huge hole in her head and began to shout for Jesus's strength, praying peace over Lily, but all I could imagine was me sitting at her bedside for months while she was in a coma. I couldn't find my cell phone so I had to run next door to our neighbors to ask them to use their phone. I called 911, then tried to get ahold of Eamon. The ambulance was on their way, and I tried my hardest to "apply pressure" to Lily's head without fainting and making her hurt more..I had no idea how deep it was, just that it looked VERY deep....

The ambulance got there and I try to explain what happens, they immediately put us in to check her out. She's officially in freak out mode and I'm completely clueless as to whether my baby's gonna live. They tell me to go grab a diaper bag for an overnight stay at Cook's. I run inside, try to get Rusty back in the house, grab Baby, blanket, some diapers, a change of clothes for her, some shoes, and my purse and out the door I go. I also found my phone and am trying frantically to get Eamon. Lily's blood is slowing down but she is covered and so am I, and none of us still have any idea how bad it is. They said it was a very good sign that she didn't pass out and that she'd been crying the whole time, but that we shouldn't let her fall asleep yet. 

I finally get a hold of Eamon in the ambulance and realize something. I had the car for the day. And I had the car KEY in my purse. Of course.
So, all at once, very prone to motion sickness, 22 week pregnant, traumatized mother of a me is bouncing her bleeding baby to keep her awake, trying to pray for peace, wisdom, and healing, trying to get a prayer request going, and trying to figure out how to get Eamon to Ft Worth.

At this point [about half way to the hospital] Lily starts to fall asleep [remember, no nap + an adrenaline rush] and the EMT's say it's time to hook her up to an IV to keep her awake. Lily very politely said, "No, eff that, and eff you, sirs." and kicked and screamed, and squirted the IV liquid in their faces when she ripped out her needle. Twice. Sucked to watch, but it actually kept her awake, so that's good.

Still orchestrating how to get Eamon to us, barefoot and pregnant me gets rolled in with my screaming, bleeding baby. We get to our room to get checked out and I remember that the inevitable is coming.
Registrar "Your name, mom....and her's... date of birth... address... "
and then the conversation piece
"Is she up to date on her vaccinations?"
Me "No ma'am"
R "Which one's is she not current with?"


Me "All of them, we've opted out"

You could probably hear the blood drying on Lily it got so quiet. She stopped typing, the EMT's stopped rolling out the gurney, the nurses stopped putting on their gloves. I guess we know how to make an entrance.

After the gawking and finger shaking they finally examine my baby. They began to clean and sterilize the area to wrap it until the surgeon could come in. They fit an entire cotton ball inside of it. I almost gagged. They told me she was looking great and that if she started to fall asleep that it'd be ok because she didn't show any signs of brain damage. Whew! My baby got a little 15 minute break, and with the help of our friends Jeremiah and Keri, Eamon finally made it to it. I heard the sigh of relief in his breath when he saw her awake and moving around [they had just given her some Motrin] and was again just blown away by what an awesome daddy he is.

Her doctors finally came in and told us what was going on and what was going to happen. After telling us that her hole was considered a "clean cut" and very low risk for infection, they told us they were very concerned that she didn't have her Tetanus shots up to date. [And I swear to G if any of you comment here about your disagreement with me, or some bullcrap about how it saves people in third world countries and doctors are awesome,  I won't post your comment. Lily didn't fall in a bed of rusty nails, and they admitted that it was extremely low risk for any infections, it's a whole 'nuther bowl of cheerios. Straight up, not the place.] After a long debate [when my daughter could have been being treated] we found out that no, she wasn't trying to give Lily a tetanus shot, but the DTaP...No thanks.

Our surgeon, who was also allergic to peanuts, and studied alternative medicine was assigned to Lily and began to explain what he was going to do. I decided that even though I never want Lily to feel like I'm not there for her, I couldn't hold her down and be there while they did her stitches. Thank God for manly, men like Eamon ;] He told us that Lily broke through every layer of skin and fat, but her muscular and skeletal structure was perfect :]

To cut it short [I'll explain this later too...gah...] Lily got 27 stitches to patch up the hole. 12 internally and 15 externally.

Hopefully, we are moving within the next few days [again, I'll explain this later too] so I might not be on again for a few days.


Please keep Lily in your prayers, she gets her stitches out on Tuesday, and keep our family in your prayers as we try to get a few things straightened out around here. Thank you so much.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Lovely Little Lily

Yesterday, Lily turned 16 months old. Whoa.

This was her yesterday at our 20 week appointment with our midwife Angela. She was such a stinker! Trying to accurately measure baby, clearly, she thinks she's more qualified ;]

Everyday I'm more and more impressed by her. She's coming out of her loud annoying [Mae] stage and entering this sweet, loving, empathetic stage.
She's potty training herself [with some help from me and EC] and we're well on our way to only having one in diapers when the baby comes.
It baffles me how much she understands me and can usually answer my "yes" or "no" questions.

She can say
dee [pee]
Yily [Lily]
toop [poop]
po-ee [potty]
bah-beh [baby]
dose [nose]
mouf [mouth]
"Wha is it?" [What is it or where is it depending, lol]
Dat [That]
Beh-ee bu-on [belly button]
Haday! [Hooray!]
Bye Bye
"Don do i" [Don't do it, HA!]

and a few others

She loves to color and draw [and eat crayons...they're non toxic for a reason I guess] and really loves to hold Rusty's rabbit and run around to make him chase her.

It's hard to believe it's just gonna get more awesome from here, so I'm just gonna soak it up while I can.


Monday, November 8, 2010

It's a....


or girl :]
It's gotta be one or the other, right? ;]
Don't you send me hate mail!

Yesterday we started our baby registry [don't worry, neither of those outfits are on it, lol] and got to spend a little time planning for him/her. Those of you with multiple kids know what little time you actually get to do this with the other one[s] running around all day! It was nice.

Also in yesterday's events was me falling directly onto my tail bone and sits bones. I was sitting on my [brand mother effing new, UGH!] yoga ball, CORRECTLY! and it popped right from underneath me. I have given birth naturally, and maybe shed one tear...I cried for five minutes after that. It hurt SO BAD...and still does. It threw a lot of stuff out of allignment and I'm still feeling pretty rough, really looking forward to some confidence from my midwife at our appointment today.

I found this amazing article earlier called "Become an Approachable & Empowering Natural Childbirth Advocate" and think it's amazing! You should go check it out!

Well, lots to do around here, hope your weekend was wonderful!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Mae Burke Photography

I can't wait to get my maternity pics done in January!

In the meantime, I'll just photgraph other ladies :

Go check em out! [Click on the pic to go to my blog ;]

I'll be back tomorrow with my 20 week update ;]

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Error 404

I have been wanting to blog pictures of this past month...ALL MONTH!
But for some reason every time I start uploading them I get
Error: 404
and no pictures :[ Anyone else having this problem?!?!