"No one can have that much need all of the time. Either you think it's worse than it is, or you're doing something wrong."
It hurt, and made me really bitter. And since then, I hate asking for help.
So...in the past two months the past events have played out like this:
- Eamon switches his job and takes a huge pay cut of about 60%.
- We get cut off of Food Stamps bc I missed an appointment [bc we only have one car...]
- Rusty gets attacked my a pit bull through our living room window.
- New rowdy neighbors threaten Eamon and accuse him of being racist.
- Lily falls and cracks her head open, getting 27 stitches.
- We end up staying at friends houses bc we don't feel safe in our apartment because of threatening neighbor man.
- We move into a new apartment.
- And in two weeks, Eamon won't have a job for a few weeks because of Christmas break.
Add to this me being pregnant and you have a helluva mess.
But last week, I had to ask for help. I was falling apart, having panic attacks, not knowing what to do about much of anything. I felt stupid. I sent out an email to a dozen of my friends and birth team letting them know our stress situation, and ask them for help. It's the week of Thanksgiving y'all...I don't expect much help, and I'm scared to death of being judged.
But my God is good, and even more, He oversees everything. His widdled down my support group to the most beautiful, gracious, giving, selfless, wonderful women. Every one of them came through for me in some way. Bringing us groceries, volunteering their husbands to help us...ahem, Eamon, move, ordering us a meal or bringing one over so I don't have to cook, covering me in prayer, bringing Lily winter clothes...It's been a bit overwhelming how much love there is in my life right now. I continue to pray blessings over them and their families and hope that one day I'm in the position to help someone like they've helped me.
So despite being in crisis mode for all of the reasons listed above, this is what I will be giving thanks for:
- Reevaluating our budget to put every penny to God's perfect use.
- Rusty being completely healed and on guard at our new apartment.
- New neighbors with a daughter who's a month younger than Lily.
- Lily's nearly healed head that looks like a cat scratch now.
- Friends who will support and help us through a million different situations
- A new, bigger, nicer apartment [with two bathrooms! The tub is deep enough to cover my belly!!!]
- And an opportunity for Eamon to find a better job come this holiday season, hopefully carrying on through the next year
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! December is tomorrow! Hope it's starting to get chilly where you are!
Oh and let's not forget our tiniest [well, by weight] blessing :]
Mae
2 comments:
Oh, Mae! Praise the Lord for how he used people to bless your family so richly. And Praise Him that in the midst of so many trials you are able to give thanks to Him!
I am so sorry for the email you received. I find it really disturbing that someone would say that you must be doing something wrong for all that to be going on. I think the Bible is clear that His believers are to expect hardships, and that He uses them to teach us and make us more like Christ. I could go on and on about this, but I think I'll refrain.
i am so sorry you have been going through such a hard time. i definitely know what it's like to need to ask for help! we've all been in those places so don't feel ashamed.
i'll be keeping your growing family in my prayers...<3
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