Today's blogpost was supposed to be about the progress I'm making on turning my house into a home. But with the past couple of hours being as emotional and enlightening as they were- I did this instead.
When a woman gives birth and becomes a mother, she takes that first look [however long it may be, before she bursts into tears and can no longer see through the relieving liquid] and falls deeply in love. More often than not does that mother and her partner make a commitment, an oath that they will sacrifice their everything for that child.
My husband and I made that oath. We made it when we found out we were pregnant and we made it again at 3:40 a.m. on July 8th of this year. We made that oath before Our Saviour as so many before us have, and are trying our hardest to remember and keep that oath. For Him, for each other, and for Lily.
Today I was reminded of this oath again, sadly because I noticed the lack of commitment in so many women that I know to keep their own.
My sacrifices have included sleep, food, energy, time, SANITY, but those things are nothing compared to MY life, which I WOULD give for her.
So when a neighbor [mother of 3] asks "Oh, had to go get her more formula, Huh?" when noticing I went to the grocery store I say, "No we breastfeed." With a smile [THAT one is new, I'm learning to change my heart attitude.]
When someone says "Oh, did your mama forget your binky, poor baby!" I say, "Nope, didn't forget! Lily's gotta find her thumb." Again, as patiently as I can.
When that leads to "Well, good luck with the dentist bills" I THINK "How bout you let me deal with my finances, since you haven't had any interest in them so far" But usually say nothing, or explain to them that I don't want her to loose her latch, thus loosing her ability to breastfeed.
Then that usually leads to the breastfeeding conversation, which lead me to remember my Oath to my Tiger Lily.
There I was sitting in the front seat of my car, nursing her in the Walgreen's parking lot.
Two. Miles. From my house.
I left my apartment this afternoon thinking my errands would get done in the two hours that Lily usually naps, so she could sit in her Moby while I was shopping, and sleep in the carseat while we were driving around.
Well her daddy ended up being on his lunch break, so he joined us, and our little outting took an hour longer than expected. Lily [and my boobs] noticed.
As soon as we dropped off Eamon at Sushi Sam's, Lily started to fuss. The fuss turned into a cry, and the cry turned into "I'm going to die soon if you don't gimme some booby lady! Where are you?!?!?!"
I tried my best to sooth her, singing, unsafely driving by reaching my hand back to hold her hand...nothing.
I had to go to Walgreen's to pick up some pictures and was debating on whether or not I should.
Not remembering how far Mid-Cities is from Harwood, I decided I would nurse her some there, then try to make it home.
I then thought how much easier it might have been to just let her cry five more minutes, rush her and the groceries in and feed her in the comforts of our home. But that was FIVE more minutes of her crying. FIVE more minutes of her thinking I was ignoring her. And FIVE more minutes of me knowing in that instance I was being selfish.
I parked in front of the Red Box, whipped her out of her car seat, let the car cool down while I walked around with her in Walgreen's to calm/cool her down, hopped in the front seat, slid it back as far as it went, and fed my little girl.
Lily couldn't have appreciated it more. I took this picture [bc Blogger is DENYING my pics, heres my twitter again..] with my phone right after she ate.
Little or astronomical, I am going to make sacrifices for my baby. I have put her and my husband before myself- and it is getting increasingly harder for me to do so, but I will. And I'm learning to do it with a servants heart.
Please encourage us in this, remind us of it with loving hearts, and live it with us! Know that I am doing what I'm convicted is best for my baby and family, and I will do the same :D!
1 comment:
Mae-
Thank-you so much for writting this... I needed this challenge, as I head off to bed thinking of a better night's sleep and a better attitude. Great post! Love ya, fellow mama :)
C
P.S. Those days do pass, H tends to not mind the carseat so badly now- once they can see out the window, it gets better. My mom calls him watching cars and trees his "TV" since we don't allow television either- haha.
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