Saturday, January 12, 2013

Winter Grey

Been quiet over here!

2013 has been adventurous thus far. And by adventurous I of course mean boogers flowing, leaning on our chosen family to feed us every now and then, new routines coming then going with mama down for the count (from boogerpocolyps 2013) has been a weird time of transition to say the least.

We went and looked at mini vans yesterday (because I am the most bad ass 23 year old you know) from Eamon's dealership and it reminded me that things are going to change-soon- and that this part of my life will be short lived so I gotta do what I need to do and get to it!

I read this blog post before I started updating this, and I gotta say, it irritated me. This week was...good...give or take. I only had one panic attack and I guess being sick took my mind off some things. But, I guess as much as she hears "depression is a sin, and shameful, and you just need more faith to endure" I hear the opposite. I have so many people who love me (and more importantly, Jesus) who want me to start on an anti-depressant. But I've done my research, I've asked Jesus a thousand different ways if it's for me, I've seen it work and I've seen it fail, and I can't do it. TWENTY FIVE PERCENT of patients on an anti-depressant who have a history of suicidal behavior end up killing themselves after being put on medication. If I, as a pregnant woman, said "I am going to do this XYZ thing every day. I have a 1 in 4 chance it will kill me, but it's cool" would slap me. I mean, I hope you would! I feel like I just have to fight harder about something I'm convicted of, over a subject that implies I have no energy to fight, ha. But what can you do?

I'm seeking out a therapist for Norah's obsessive itching, not much luck yet, but I'm trying.
We've been staying inside from the freezing, but got two days of sunshine this week, and you bet I was out there with the girls gettin my vitamin d.

This post officially shall be renamed "Word Vomit." My apologies for the lack of content and constant talk of depression crap. I will return to updating about the baby growing inside my womb now.

Hope you are having a less grey and chilly weekend where you are :]

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