So I've been meaning to update...nearly every day I write a post in my head to share with you, my blogging family, but...well, things happen.
But this is important, and I need to just type it- even if Lily wakes to nurse, I will practice my new, quite impressive, acquired skill of one handed typing.
Fall has always been a blissful season for Eamon and I.
[Already...I'm tearing up already...]
Since the Fall of 2004 we have been madly, often foolishly, in love. With the cooler temperatures that the season bring, we are both less temperamental and more amiable, making for quite a team.
The past week or so, we've been seeing the possibility of a weather change here in Texas. The cool rain has come, and might leave us to steam for a few more weeks...months...but we know the drought is over and the time to rejoice in Our Father's beautiful amber colored terrarium is slowly approaching.
Yesterday I was running errands with Lily, trying to keep her dampened curly mohawk dry while running in and out of stores and friends abodes. We finally made it home, and I placed her in her bouncing chair and just starred at her. The complete, and perfect might I add, depiction of Eamon's love for me, and mine for him.
I looked out in the rain through the window behind her and remembered being 15 years old in Rockport sitting at the beach watching the storms roll in over the bay in November. I told him he HAD to get out of the car and kiss me- just like in the movies. We couldn't stop laughing! It was too ridiculous to take serisously. So he kissed me, hugged my sopping wet self, and shivered his way back in the car.
All of that to say, even from the beggining, we have had our own way of doing things, even though we try unoriginal methods along the way.
But looking at Lily, looking at her beautiful skin, big eyes, auburn hair, tiny toes...I became very ready start this new season in my life, one that will once again coincide with the changing of the leaves, in a very unoriginal way. Lily is going to be raised in the way of our Father. I will look to those who are well versed in rearing a child and ask them for the time tested methods in becoming the mother God has created me to be. This season I believe has spread itself before me to learn to be TRUELY compassionate, learn Servitude as it is preached, and learn the gentle whisper of a strong woman instead of the fierce roar of an abrassive Earthly woman. These are all things I've been convicted of for about a year now, but I think that my plans and God's plans are finally synced.
I don't know how all of this will play out, but I am reaching out to ask for a little bit of support...again :]
Accountability and encouragment are going to be imparitive I think...
But, in Jesus name...I'm ready. I am really ready.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Bye Bye Summer...
Summer and I have always have a love hate relationship. Living in Texas lends the majority of the "hate" to that combination. Summer brings no school, pools, my birthday, sleepin in, and most importantly, the allowance to stay out later (whether it be from a lengthened visit from the sun, or my mom extending my curfew ;])
But the last three summers the Lord has been workin over time to show me the Love.
Two summers ago He took Eamon and I to Thailand on our first out-of-the-country-don't-cry-mom-I-promise-I-won't-die mission trip.
Last summer Eamon and I got married. We call that summer "The Summer of Love." We recently watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I felt Eamon try not to look over at me as I tried not to look over at him. We both broke down and laughed at each other. The scene was Benjamin describing the beginning of his life with his wife. He says "We didn't have a stitch of furniture...We practically lived on that matress. Had picnics in the living room..." I could tell Eamon was thinking the same thing I was. Me coming in from the kitchen with our fancy bowls that we got as wedding presents full of some sort of pasta to sit on the floor in the living room to watch a movie... Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplain, The Zombies, and The Beatles coming from our spare room... I loved that summer.
And then there was this summer. Full of stress, anticipation, change, and our first born! Eamon and I went through a lot this summer, and I am overwhelmingly pleased to say we made it out on the other side stronger.
But as I hear/read about my friends, sisters, and old classmates starting a new semester, I feel my heart become a little tinged with sadness. This is the first year in...sixteen years that I haven't stayed up all night filled with nerves about the first day of school. The first year I didn't go shopping for the most amazing school supplies. The first year that I didn't have a route planned out, on paper of how to get to all of my classes. Feels a little like something is missing, you know?
But there are a few new beginnings this year.
I have joined a Bible study with some, stand-up, humble gals, who have a thing or two to teach me. I have a baby-DUH. So there's all the new and exciting things about that. And, I've started my own business.
All this to say- I'm entering a new season with no expectations-not because I am that self disciplined, but because I have no idea what TO expect!
So, with the season changing, I'd like some feedback! What is your favorite memory from summer?
I will give you mine (aside from pushing out my baby in record time!)
It was in the blur of days that followed our wedding day. I'm not sure if Eamon even remembers this, but I will for the rest of my life. I woke up because I felt him starring at me. I asked him how long he had been awake. He told me he hadn't gone to sleep, that he'd been starring at me all night. It was straight out of a movie. I don't think I've blushed so much since then.
So come on then! Favorite summer memory?
But the last three summers the Lord has been workin over time to show me the Love.
Two summers ago He took Eamon and I to Thailand on our first out-of-the-country-don't-cry-mom-I-promise-I-won't-die mission trip.
Last summer Eamon and I got married. We call that summer "The Summer of Love." We recently watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I felt Eamon try not to look over at me as I tried not to look over at him. We both broke down and laughed at each other. The scene was Benjamin describing the beginning of his life with his wife. He says "We didn't have a stitch of furniture...We practically lived on that matress. Had picnics in the living room..." I could tell Eamon was thinking the same thing I was. Me coming in from the kitchen with our fancy bowls that we got as wedding presents full of some sort of pasta to sit on the floor in the living room to watch a movie... Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplain, The Zombies, and The Beatles coming from our spare room... I loved that summer.
And then there was this summer. Full of stress, anticipation, change, and our first born! Eamon and I went through a lot this summer, and I am overwhelmingly pleased to say we made it out on the other side stronger.
But as I hear/read about my friends, sisters, and old classmates starting a new semester, I feel my heart become a little tinged with sadness. This is the first year in...sixteen years that I haven't stayed up all night filled with nerves about the first day of school. The first year I didn't go shopping for the most amazing school supplies. The first year that I didn't have a route planned out, on paper of how to get to all of my classes. Feels a little like something is missing, you know?
But there are a few new beginnings this year.
I have joined a Bible study with some, stand-up, humble gals, who have a thing or two to teach me. I have a baby-DUH. So there's all the new and exciting things about that. And, I've started my own business.
All this to say- I'm entering a new season with no expectations-not because I am that self disciplined, but because I have no idea what TO expect!
So, with the season changing, I'd like some feedback! What is your favorite memory from summer?
I will give you mine (aside from pushing out my baby in record time!)
It was in the blur of days that followed our wedding day. I'm not sure if Eamon even remembers this, but I will for the rest of my life. I woke up because I felt him starring at me. I asked him how long he had been awake. He told me he hadn't gone to sleep, that he'd been starring at me all night. It was straight out of a movie. I don't think I've blushed so much since then.
So come on then! Favorite summer memory?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
No, Sleep, Till Brooklyn! [No, I do not have any travel plans...]
Today's blogpost was supposed to be about the progress I'm making on turning my house into a home. But with the past couple of hours being as emotional and enlightening as they were- I did this instead.
When a woman gives birth and becomes a mother, she takes that first look [however long it may be, before she bursts into tears and can no longer see through the relieving liquid] and falls deeply in love. More often than not does that mother and her partner make a commitment, an oath that they will sacrifice their everything for that child.
My husband and I made that oath. We made it when we found out we were pregnant and we made it again at 3:40 a.m. on July 8th of this year. We made that oath before Our Saviour as so many before us have, and are trying our hardest to remember and keep that oath. For Him, for each other, and for Lily.
Today I was reminded of this oath again, sadly because I noticed the lack of commitment in so many women that I know to keep their own.
My sacrifices have included sleep, food, energy, time, SANITY, but those things are nothing compared to MY life, which I WOULD give for her.
So when a neighbor [mother of 3] asks "Oh, had to go get her more formula, Huh?" when noticing I went to the grocery store I say, "No we breastfeed." With a smile [THAT one is new, I'm learning to change my heart attitude.]
When someone says "Oh, did your mama forget your binky, poor baby!" I say, "Nope, didn't forget! Lily's gotta find her thumb." Again, as patiently as I can.
When that leads to "Well, good luck with the dentist bills" I THINK "How bout you let me deal with my finances, since you haven't had any interest in them so far" But usually say nothing, or explain to them that I don't want her to loose her latch, thus loosing her ability to breastfeed.
Then that usually leads to the breastfeeding conversation, which lead me to remember my Oath to my Tiger Lily.
There I was sitting in the front seat of my car, nursing her in the Walgreen's parking lot.
Two. Miles. From my house.
I left my apartment this afternoon thinking my errands would get done in the two hours that Lily usually naps, so she could sit in her Moby while I was shopping, and sleep in the carseat while we were driving around.
Well her daddy ended up being on his lunch break, so he joined us, and our little outting took an hour longer than expected. Lily [and my boobs] noticed.
As soon as we dropped off Eamon at Sushi Sam's, Lily started to fuss. The fuss turned into a cry, and the cry turned into "I'm going to die soon if you don't gimme some booby lady! Where are you?!?!?!"
I tried my best to sooth her, singing, unsafely driving by reaching my hand back to hold her hand...nothing.
I had to go to Walgreen's to pick up some pictures and was debating on whether or not I should.
Not remembering how far Mid-Cities is from Harwood, I decided I would nurse her some there, then try to make it home.
I then thought how much easier it might have been to just let her cry five more minutes, rush her and the groceries in and feed her in the comforts of our home. But that was FIVE more minutes of her crying. FIVE more minutes of her thinking I was ignoring her. And FIVE more minutes of me knowing in that instance I was being selfish.
I parked in front of the Red Box, whipped her out of her car seat, let the car cool down while I walked around with her in Walgreen's to calm/cool her down, hopped in the front seat, slid it back as far as it went, and fed my little girl.
Lily couldn't have appreciated it more. I took this picture [bc Blogger is DENYING my pics, heres my twitter again..] with my phone right after she ate.
Little or astronomical, I am going to make sacrifices for my baby. I have put her and my husband before myself- and it is getting increasingly harder for me to do so, but I will. And I'm learning to do it with a servants heart.
Please encourage us in this, remind us of it with loving hearts, and live it with us! Know that I am doing what I'm convicted is best for my baby and family, and I will do the same :D!
When a woman gives birth and becomes a mother, she takes that first look [however long it may be, before she bursts into tears and can no longer see through the relieving liquid] and falls deeply in love. More often than not does that mother and her partner make a commitment, an oath that they will sacrifice their everything for that child.
My husband and I made that oath. We made it when we found out we were pregnant and we made it again at 3:40 a.m. on July 8th of this year. We made that oath before Our Saviour as so many before us have, and are trying our hardest to remember and keep that oath. For Him, for each other, and for Lily.
Today I was reminded of this oath again, sadly because I noticed the lack of commitment in so many women that I know to keep their own.
My sacrifices have included sleep, food, energy, time, SANITY, but those things are nothing compared to MY life, which I WOULD give for her.
So when a neighbor [mother of 3] asks "Oh, had to go get her more formula, Huh?" when noticing I went to the grocery store I say, "No we breastfeed." With a smile [THAT one is new, I'm learning to change my heart attitude.]
When someone says "Oh, did your mama forget your binky, poor baby!" I say, "Nope, didn't forget! Lily's gotta find her thumb." Again, as patiently as I can.
When that leads to "Well, good luck with the dentist bills" I THINK "How bout you let me deal with my finances, since you haven't had any interest in them so far" But usually say nothing, or explain to them that I don't want her to loose her latch, thus loosing her ability to breastfeed.
Then that usually leads to the breastfeeding conversation, which lead me to remember my Oath to my Tiger Lily.
There I was sitting in the front seat of my car, nursing her in the Walgreen's parking lot.
Two. Miles. From my house.
I left my apartment this afternoon thinking my errands would get done in the two hours that Lily usually naps, so she could sit in her Moby while I was shopping, and sleep in the carseat while we were driving around.
Well her daddy ended up being on his lunch break, so he joined us, and our little outting took an hour longer than expected. Lily [and my boobs] noticed.
As soon as we dropped off Eamon at Sushi Sam's, Lily started to fuss. The fuss turned into a cry, and the cry turned into "I'm going to die soon if you don't gimme some booby lady! Where are you?!?!?!"
I tried my best to sooth her, singing, unsafely driving by reaching my hand back to hold her hand...nothing.
I had to go to Walgreen's to pick up some pictures and was debating on whether or not I should.
Not remembering how far Mid-Cities is from Harwood, I decided I would nurse her some there, then try to make it home.
I then thought how much easier it might have been to just let her cry five more minutes, rush her and the groceries in and feed her in the comforts of our home. But that was FIVE more minutes of her crying. FIVE more minutes of her thinking I was ignoring her. And FIVE more minutes of me knowing in that instance I was being selfish.
I parked in front of the Red Box, whipped her out of her car seat, let the car cool down while I walked around with her in Walgreen's to calm/cool her down, hopped in the front seat, slid it back as far as it went, and fed my little girl.
Lily couldn't have appreciated it more. I took this picture [bc Blogger is DENYING my pics, heres my twitter again..] with my phone right after she ate.
Little or astronomical, I am going to make sacrifices for my baby. I have put her and my husband before myself- and it is getting increasingly harder for me to do so, but I will. And I'm learning to do it with a servants heart.
Please encourage us in this, remind us of it with loving hearts, and live it with us! Know that I am doing what I'm convicted is best for my baby and family, and I will do the same :D!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Busily Doing Nothing
It truly amazes me how little I've done because I'm so busy!
How am I getting so caught up in my little angel that nothing has been done around here?
The dishes are piling up, (sky high is a gross understatement) the trash is overflowing, diapers are finding there way into the dark corners of our apartment, and Lily is having to share her blanket with a small family of mice.
Ok, maybe I just need to unload and reload the dishwasher and take out the trash.
I don't know what to do about the mice...they aren't biting her...
None of this has been getting done because, well because I don't want to, but also because I'm getting to know my little baby!
With the husband off at work from 10:00 a.m to 10:30 p.m. I'm left to my own devices in the most pitiful of ways.
I have been sifting through the pages of Etsy with the finest of sifters looking for beautiful objects of adoration to recreate.
Currently I have completed several onsies for my Lily
Including this one I made for her 3 week birthday!
No, she's not on a place mat on my kitchen table....
My defense would be even less believable if my actual camera was accessible. I can't find the adapter in this mess of an unpacked apartment...
And this little beauty is next on my sewing to-do list, in diaper bag form of course.
It is late and I must depart...I am far too distracted.
How am I getting so caught up in my little angel that nothing has been done around here?
The dishes are piling up, (sky high is a gross understatement) the trash is overflowing, diapers are finding there way into the dark corners of our apartment, and Lily is having to share her blanket with a small family of mice.
Ok, maybe I just need to unload and reload the dishwasher and take out the trash.
I don't know what to do about the mice...they aren't biting her...
None of this has been getting done because, well because I don't want to, but also because I'm getting to know my little baby!
With the husband off at work from 10:00 a.m to 10:30 p.m. I'm left to my own devices in the most pitiful of ways.
I have been sifting through the pages of Etsy with the finest of sifters looking for beautiful objects of adoration to recreate.
Currently I have completed several onsies for my Lily
Including this one I made for her 3 week birthday!
No, she's not on a place mat on my kitchen table....
My defense would be even less believable if my actual camera was accessible. I can't find the adapter in this mess of an unpacked apartment...
And this little beauty is next on my sewing to-do list, in diaper bag form of course.
It is late and I must depart...I am far too distracted.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Lily Annette's Birth Slideshow
While I'm still working on the headbands, (breastfeeding is not conducive to sewing...at least not yet) here is the link to Lily's slide show.
We are both ecstatic about our birth experience and love to share.
To the gentlemen
There is some boobage, but none of the naughty bits. Please ask your wives/significant others how they feel about you watching this before you do
www.dfwbirthphotographer.com/lily.html
We are both ecstatic about our birth experience and love to share.
To the gentlemen
There is some boobage, but none of the naughty bits. Please ask your wives/significant others how they feel about you watching this before you do
www.dfwbirthphotographer.com/lily.html
Mommy Hood Crafts...
Now that its confirmed that I have a baby girl, I can spend my time making all of the precious things that I have been dying to make the past ten months!
Some of you have seen some of the flowers I wear in my hair, and one that I made Miss Lily last week for her photo shoots with our dear friend Michelle...that didn't really go "as planned"
Take One
Take Two
Gosh she's a stink!
But none the less, I think we did get at least one of her wearing it... pictures to come soon.
Well, felt is more my forte, and I saw this lovely little piece on this inspiring blog and have decided to try to make one for me and a miniature one for my Tiger Lily.
I'm really excited to start this project and see how well it turns out.
I am also considering starting a separate blog for all my crafts...then we'll talk Etsy ;]
On the Lily [ah, I just LOVE her name, next baby girl- Iris!] front things have been great.
Not last night, but the night before she looked at me directly in the eyes and just smiled. I swear it was like she was talking to me, whispering sweet nothings through her eyes, patiently awaiting my response. A true glimpse of Heaven.
I will be sharing my birth slideshow as soon as my birth photographer shoots me the link.
I look forward to reading about all of the things that didn't happen this week in your "Not Me Monday's"
Some of you have seen some of the flowers I wear in my hair, and one that I made Miss Lily last week for her photo shoots with our dear friend Michelle...that didn't really go "as planned"
Take One
Take Two
Gosh she's a stink!
But none the less, I think we did get at least one of her wearing it... pictures to come soon.
Well, felt is more my forte, and I saw this lovely little piece on this inspiring blog and have decided to try to make one for me and a miniature one for my Tiger Lily.
I'm really excited to start this project and see how well it turns out.
I am also considering starting a separate blog for all my crafts...then we'll talk Etsy ;]
On the Lily [ah, I just LOVE her name, next baby girl- Iris!] front things have been great.
Not last night, but the night before she looked at me directly in the eyes and just smiled. I swear it was like she was talking to me, whispering sweet nothings through her eyes, patiently awaiting my response. A true glimpse of Heaven.
I will be sharing my birth slideshow as soon as my birth photographer shoots me the link.
I look forward to reading about all of the things that didn't happen this week in your "Not Me Monday's"
Friday, July 17, 2009
The much anticipated story of Lily Annette Burke.
While it is fresh in my mind, I will try to recount the story of my precious baby girl's birth.
First of all, let me say that before I anger any mothers who's first labor was long and terrible, I only had a quick labor because I had "false labor" for FOUR days. Yessiree Bob... Four days of contractions, mucas, cramps... oh honey, my midwives [Ann, Abby, and Angela] were most certainly cringing when they checked their cell phones YET AGAIN just to tell me, "Ok, well have you tried taking a hot bath? Alright well just keep on eye on it and gimme a call if you notice any changes."
Wah wah wah...
Sad trombone, every time.
*Side Note
I just checked the call log on my cell phone, just for the heck of it. Ann ALONE had received..one, two, three, ELEVEN calls from me since the 4th of July. SORRY :]
So, amongst all of the false labor start ups and screeching halts, you can imagine my hesitation to call Ann on the night of the 7th when I thought I was gonna have this baby FOR SURE...like I had the past few days :D
That afternoon at 1:30 I had an appointment with Ann. With all of the practice my body had been doing is was PRAYING for some decent progress on the dilation front. Lucky for me I was dilated 3 centimeters and 90% effaced. [It took almost everything in me to not tell her "Damn right I am!"]
Contractions had still been frequent and manageable all that morning and afternoon, but that evening, I noticed "The Change." Suddenly a small person inside me started to bellow resulting in a dull moan coming out of my mouth during each contraction, and for some reason this small person began to make his presence known quite frequently. At about 7:30 I started to have very regular contractions and at about 8 I had Eamon start timing them. Sure enough, they were 3-4 minutes apart.
My sweet husband went in to daddy mode. He started to clean up the house. He did a load of dishes, cleaned up the bathroom, readied our bed with a layer of trash bags (I told him not to, we were going to have the baby in the tub-why ready the bed? Little did I know...)and made sure I was drinking my body weights worth of water.
By this point I could hear the neighbors who frequently lounge about the sidewalk outside our apartment laugh every time I had a contraction. They must have thought we were trying for another child, but let me tell you there was nothing enjoyable about these contractions, other than I knew I was this much closer to meeting my first born.
Eamon started to fill the birth tub with hot water as a breathed through some more contractions. I quickly got down to my tube top and hopped...ummm, waddled in. At around 10 p.m. I finally convinced Eamon it was time to call Ann.
Our conversation went a little bit like this
"Hi Ann, it's Mae"--apparently I was unaware of caller i.d.
"Hey Miss Mae"
CONTRACTION
Ann- "Well that was a good one, whatchya thinkin?"
Me - "I'M THINKIN I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY, ANN"
Ann- "That's a good thought to have!"
"Well have you taken a hot bath?"
Me- "I'm in the tub right now!"
I have to admit, if I were her, I wouldn't rush right over either!
After a few more minutes of deciding what we needed, Eamon and I decided that it would be best for us to labor alone for just a bit longer, a decision that set the night off splendidly.
There we were, just the two of us.
We were sitting in our new home, in an inflatable tub, working together to bring our daughter in to the world.
I remember Eamon opening the evening up in prayer before he let me call Ann, still asserting his place as Spiritual Leader in my life, making sure that I knew that our relationship with Our Father was what was going to get us through the night.
He held my hands, stroked my hair, reminded me to breathe at all the right times. I'm so privileged to say that my husband was my biggest support.
But after a while I needed some Estrogen!
I let Eamon know that it was getting a little too hard, and that I needed more support. We called Ann again at about 11:00/11:15 pm and let her know we were ready for Angela to come.
My husband led me through some more contractions and before I knew it Angela was there at about midnight.
I got out of the pool, bare butt and all and waddled back to our bedroom so she could check my progress.
I was expecting her to tell me I was at 4 or 5 centimeters and that I still had quite a while to go before I could meet my child.
I laid down on my bed with my head in my husbands lap, my hands in his, awaiting the news.
I was 7 centimeters! We were almost there!
Angela called our birth photographer, Lynsey Stone, and she arrived shortly there after.
(At least I think so... the whole time thing has me baffled)
I struggled my way back into the pool and waited.
Several of you told me what a blessing the naps between contractions were, and all I could think at the time was "ok...so for the minute between contractions, you just take a cat nap? Right..." But, there I was continuously being woken up by contractions. At one point I was on all fours, and was woken up because my face hit the water!
At this point I turned to Angela and asked her a perfectly legit question in my mind - but I guess I sounded like a loon. I learned in my birth classes that sometimes they use homeopathic remedies or herbs to help ease the pain. So after telling her I felt like I could push, I asked her "Is there anything for the pain?"
She gently laughed and said "No Mae, there isn't anything for the pain."
I WASN'T ASKING FOR AN EPIDURAL OR ANYTHING...maybe some weed or something... But sheesh, is that so much to ask?
We decided it had been a while since I used the restroom, so through the contractions we took the five steps to the bathroom that took five minutes.
While on the toilet my husband saw me dozing off again between contractions and decided that we should go lay down in our bed before we continued in the tub. From this suggestion two things came to mind. One- we were going to have this baby in the tub. Gravity helps when you squat, there is any easier transition for baby when they are born in water, and it might help sooth the pain. Two- I was going to get to take a nap. I've seen it happen at the birth center. A mom will be in labor for a while and need to rest so they let her take a nap, the way I figured it I still had many hours to go.
Eamon helped my lay down in our bed and helped me through another contraction. Angela said she wanted to check me again since I said that I felt like I could push.
Drumroll please....FULLY DILATED!
Eamon and I were so happy (Yet in the back of my mind I was kinda pissed that I wasn't going to get my nap...priorities right?) His eyes were so big, and I could tell he was tired but so relieved that this gave him a new burst of energy.
It was 3:00 am and Angela called Ann to let her know that we were going to try some "experimental pushing." Again, I was ready for the two hours of pushing that I was promised as a first time mom, so Eamon and I readied ourselves. When Angie came back into our dimly lit room, I began to push.
The next couple of hours were the best of my life.
My husband, the man I have wanted to give a child to for years, was laying beside me propping my leg up with his. His face was glowing with excitement, I could even feel him start to shake. Smiling, he asked how I was doing. I replied much calmer than I meant with a "I could keep going, this is good."
Eamon later told me that towards the end of the pushes I would start to smile.
I could feel my child's head pushing down, down, down...
C'mon baby... we're ready...
Down, down, down...
My water breaks...All over my husbands leg, too!
Down, down, down...
Ann walks in the door with an excited "Mae, when you say your ready, your ready!"
The midwives tell Eamon the head is coming soon and that he will be able to see.
Down, down, down...
I push a head out (and a hand!), strangely enough it felt so relieving.
Eamon's face is in such awe after seeing it, but I pull him closer to me. He tells me I'm amazing, that I'm doing SO good.
I cried out to the Lord one more time...
It is 3:40 am.
Eamon and I are now parents.
Angela and Ann lift our baby and place it on my stomach. Ann says "Oh Mae, he has so much hair! He's gorgeous!"
I'm so excited and ask "Its a boy?!?!?!"
Ann laughed, "Oh, I dunno, Eamon, come check!"
I will never, ever forget his reaction.
"NO, ITS A GIRL. BABE ITS A LILY! ITS A GIRL!"
The rest of that morning, all the way up to right now, has been a blur.
I am a mom. I get to take care, to nurture this small child. I have been allowed to raise this BEAUTIFUL child before giving her back to the Lord in the few short years that will be known as her lifetime. I don't have to give her back at the end of the night. I don't have to worry about whether she is being loved enough once she left my care.
We are so very honored and humbled for you all to meet my daughter,
Lily Annette Burke
07/08/09
3:40 am
7lbs 11 ozs
20.5 in long
I...We can't wait for you all to help in finding out more about this little girl.
Mae and Eamon
You can go here to view Lily's slideshow :]
First of all, let me say that before I anger any mothers who's first labor was long and terrible, I only had a quick labor because I had "false labor" for FOUR days. Yessiree Bob... Four days of contractions, mucas, cramps... oh honey, my midwives [Ann, Abby, and Angela] were most certainly cringing when they checked their cell phones YET AGAIN just to tell me, "Ok, well have you tried taking a hot bath? Alright well just keep on eye on it and gimme a call if you notice any changes."
Wah wah wah...
Sad trombone, every time.
*Side Note
I just checked the call log on my cell phone, just for the heck of it. Ann ALONE had received..one, two, three, ELEVEN calls from me since the 4th of July. SORRY :]
So, amongst all of the false labor start ups and screeching halts, you can imagine my hesitation to call Ann on the night of the 7th when I thought I was gonna have this baby FOR SURE...like I had the past few days :D
That afternoon at 1:30 I had an appointment with Ann. With all of the practice my body had been doing is was PRAYING for some decent progress on the dilation front. Lucky for me I was dilated 3 centimeters and 90% effaced. [It took almost everything in me to not tell her "Damn right I am!"]
Contractions had still been frequent and manageable all that morning and afternoon, but that evening, I noticed "The Change." Suddenly a small person inside me started to bellow resulting in a dull moan coming out of my mouth during each contraction, and for some reason this small person began to make his presence known quite frequently. At about 7:30 I started to have very regular contractions and at about 8 I had Eamon start timing them. Sure enough, they were 3-4 minutes apart.
My sweet husband went in to daddy mode. He started to clean up the house. He did a load of dishes, cleaned up the bathroom, readied our bed with a layer of trash bags (I told him not to, we were going to have the baby in the tub-why ready the bed? Little did I know...)and made sure I was drinking my body weights worth of water.
By this point I could hear the neighbors who frequently lounge about the sidewalk outside our apartment laugh every time I had a contraction. They must have thought we were trying for another child, but let me tell you there was nothing enjoyable about these contractions, other than I knew I was this much closer to meeting my first born.
Eamon started to fill the birth tub with hot water as a breathed through some more contractions. I quickly got down to my tube top and hopped...ummm, waddled in. At around 10 p.m. I finally convinced Eamon it was time to call Ann.
Our conversation went a little bit like this
"Hi Ann, it's Mae"--apparently I was unaware of caller i.d.
"Hey Miss Mae"
CONTRACTION
Ann- "Well that was a good one, whatchya thinkin?"
Me - "I'M THINKIN I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY, ANN"
Ann- "That's a good thought to have!"
"Well have you taken a hot bath?"
Me- "I'm in the tub right now!"
I have to admit, if I were her, I wouldn't rush right over either!
After a few more minutes of deciding what we needed, Eamon and I decided that it would be best for us to labor alone for just a bit longer, a decision that set the night off splendidly.
There we were, just the two of us.
We were sitting in our new home, in an inflatable tub, working together to bring our daughter in to the world.
I remember Eamon opening the evening up in prayer before he let me call Ann, still asserting his place as Spiritual Leader in my life, making sure that I knew that our relationship with Our Father was what was going to get us through the night.
He held my hands, stroked my hair, reminded me to breathe at all the right times. I'm so privileged to say that my husband was my biggest support.
But after a while I needed some Estrogen!
I let Eamon know that it was getting a little too hard, and that I needed more support. We called Ann again at about 11:00/11:15 pm and let her know we were ready for Angela to come.
My husband led me through some more contractions and before I knew it Angela was there at about midnight.
I got out of the pool, bare butt and all and waddled back to our bedroom so she could check my progress.
I was expecting her to tell me I was at 4 or 5 centimeters and that I still had quite a while to go before I could meet my child.
I laid down on my bed with my head in my husbands lap, my hands in his, awaiting the news.
I was 7 centimeters! We were almost there!
Angela called our birth photographer, Lynsey Stone, and she arrived shortly there after.
(At least I think so... the whole time thing has me baffled)
I struggled my way back into the pool and waited.
Several of you told me what a blessing the naps between contractions were, and all I could think at the time was "ok...so for the minute between contractions, you just take a cat nap? Right..." But, there I was continuously being woken up by contractions. At one point I was on all fours, and was woken up because my face hit the water!
At this point I turned to Angela and asked her a perfectly legit question in my mind - but I guess I sounded like a loon. I learned in my birth classes that sometimes they use homeopathic remedies or herbs to help ease the pain. So after telling her I felt like I could push, I asked her "Is there anything for the pain?"
She gently laughed and said "No Mae, there isn't anything for the pain."
I WASN'T ASKING FOR AN EPIDURAL OR ANYTHING...maybe some weed or something... But sheesh, is that so much to ask?
We decided it had been a while since I used the restroom, so through the contractions we took the five steps to the bathroom that took five minutes.
While on the toilet my husband saw me dozing off again between contractions and decided that we should go lay down in our bed before we continued in the tub. From this suggestion two things came to mind. One- we were going to have this baby in the tub. Gravity helps when you squat, there is any easier transition for baby when they are born in water, and it might help sooth the pain. Two- I was going to get to take a nap. I've seen it happen at the birth center. A mom will be in labor for a while and need to rest so they let her take a nap, the way I figured it I still had many hours to go.
Eamon helped my lay down in our bed and helped me through another contraction. Angela said she wanted to check me again since I said that I felt like I could push.
Drumroll please....FULLY DILATED!
Eamon and I were so happy (Yet in the back of my mind I was kinda pissed that I wasn't going to get my nap...priorities right?) His eyes were so big, and I could tell he was tired but so relieved that this gave him a new burst of energy.
It was 3:00 am and Angela called Ann to let her know that we were going to try some "experimental pushing." Again, I was ready for the two hours of pushing that I was promised as a first time mom, so Eamon and I readied ourselves. When Angie came back into our dimly lit room, I began to push.
The next couple of hours were the best of my life.
My husband, the man I have wanted to give a child to for years, was laying beside me propping my leg up with his. His face was glowing with excitement, I could even feel him start to shake. Smiling, he asked how I was doing. I replied much calmer than I meant with a "I could keep going, this is good."
Eamon later told me that towards the end of the pushes I would start to smile.
I could feel my child's head pushing down, down, down...
C'mon baby... we're ready...
Down, down, down...
My water breaks...All over my husbands leg, too!
Down, down, down...
Ann walks in the door with an excited "Mae, when you say your ready, your ready!"
The midwives tell Eamon the head is coming soon and that he will be able to see.
Down, down, down...
I push a head out (and a hand!), strangely enough it felt so relieving.
Eamon's face is in such awe after seeing it, but I pull him closer to me. He tells me I'm amazing, that I'm doing SO good.
I cried out to the Lord one more time...
It is 3:40 am.Eamon and I are now parents.
Angela and Ann lift our baby and place it on my stomach. Ann says "Oh Mae, he has so much hair! He's gorgeous!"
I'm so excited and ask "Its a boy?!?!?!"
Ann laughed, "Oh, I dunno, Eamon, come check!"
I will never, ever forget his reaction.
"NO, ITS A GIRL. BABE ITS A LILY! ITS A GIRL!"
The rest of that morning, all the way up to right now, has been a blur.
I am a mom. I get to take care, to nurture this small child. I have been allowed to raise this BEAUTIFUL child before giving her back to the Lord in the few short years that will be known as her lifetime. I don't have to give her back at the end of the night. I don't have to worry about whether she is being loved enough once she left my care.
We are so very honored and humbled for you all to meet my daughter,
Lily Annette Burke
07/08/09
3:40 am
7lbs 11 ozs
20.5 in long
I...We can't wait for you all to help in finding out more about this little girl.
Mae and Eamon
You can go here to view Lily's slideshow :]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)