Friday, April 12, 2013

Norah Jean | Two

My sweet girl turned two at the end of last month.

On one hand, it's been a very long two years.
Two years of scratching.
Two years watching every single thing she comes in contact with.
Two years of puking up the same explanation of what is wrong with her to people who refuse to understand.
Two years of my mothering of her being questioned by strangers and myself.

There were times when she was up past her bedtime, crying and scratching in her crib after she weaned (we made it 18 months!) that I sat wondering if I could actually provide what she needs or if she wouldn't be better off with someone else. My discipline has been completely different than Lily's (or any other baby I know for that matter) because of Norah's condition. I often let my joy as a mother get stolen by judgmental moms, exhaustion, and self obsession (when you drop down to a size four and live in a society that accepts looking at one's self ALL. DAMN. DAY., it's easier to do than you think.)

On the other hand, two years have gone by so fast.
Two years of bonding out of necessity  that I had not known before.
Two years of drawing closer to my Jesus for wisdom and strength.
Two years of preparing a wee babe to walk with a gentle savior.
Two years of watching Grace be poured over someone I love so deeply, I can't begin to elaborate. 

Norah laughs with an intensity that will make you cry with joy.

Because I held her hand down at night to keep her from scratching for the first 14 or so months, so loves to hold hands when she sleeps. She's started doing this with her sister lately and it's the most adorable thing that you've ever seen.

I can't really believe how beautiful she is. She is one of the most gorgeous babies I have ever seen. With her big honey colored eyes and perfect little lips.. I'm in trouble, I just know it ;]

Her sense of humor leaves us in stitches. The other night she was being very kissy kissy with Eamon and he asked her "Are you my little lovebird?" and out of nowhere she got up, and started running around the living room flapping her arms. It would go viral on Youtube. Bet.

She's a deep thinker. She asks lots of questions and loves learning new things. And Lily loves teaching her everything she knows ;]

As the days tick by, drawing closer to my EDD, I savor every second I get of her being my "baby." She loves to lift up my shirt to rub my belly and say "Nuggle me, mama?" and lay next to me while I hold her. While Lily has basically written my birth plan for me, and is excited to welcome our baby and help with the baby, and be the best big sister ever, I worry about Norah from time to time. Whether or not she will allow me to give this baby all the attention I gave her mostly. We keep saying "You will be the only big AND little sister." to make her feel special :]

Lily & Norah both have Pertussis right now (because that's what every nearly due mama wants to deal with) and are snuggled in their bed holding hands, I am grateful for her sweet, soft skin that she's come into the past few weeks. I am grateful for the heart that has been knit so tightly with Lily's and that God honored that for me. I am grateful for the...laborious event that was her birth that set me up to know to trust Jesus with her.

Happy (belated) birthday baby girl. We love you <3 br="">Mama

1 comment:

September said...

Your girls are beautiful. And not just on the outside but their spirits from which you can see shine through your wonderful photos. I can't imagine you to be any less of a good momma. I'm sure you have your days (as do I, as do we all) but that gorgeous smile on your baby tells the truth- that you love her and love on her and show her Jesus daily.
Keep up the good work, momma. And God bless.