Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I am at my wits end.

Lily will not. stop. nursing.
[Now before I go on, you listen here.
All of you "breastfeed til your kid is five" advocates can take your opinions and hush right now. And all of you "how could you put your boob in your kid's mouth in the first place?" jerks can take a hike. This is NOT the place or time to preach at me.]

If I am laying down [or sometimes just SITTING!] Lily feels as if it is her constitutional and God given right to be nursing right then and there. If not, begin the "I HATE YOU MAMA" screaming and hitting and scratching.

"So just nurse her" as my husband says. That leaves me nursing Lily as much as a newborn. I'm seriously crying because I'm so sick of it. I don't want to be mad at her and I don't want to be upset that I'm having to nurse her. My goal was 18 months but I feel as if I'm going to be a mindless mess of hair and fat in five more months if this keeps up. I haven't slept for more than 4 consecutive hours in at least two weeks. Combine that with holding back [or not] vomit everyday, trying to figure out where the poop smell is coming from in my house [it's just LINGERING!!!!] and worrying [which I should NOT be doing] about whether or not we're going to be able to pay rent next month [this is Eamon's last week of work] and you've got a pretty useless mama.
AS WE SPEAK: Lily is trying to rip off my dress to nurse even though she "nursed" less than twenty minutes ago, and twenty minutes before that...
So, what do I do? Do I try and wean her and deal with the days of her screaming at me without actually being secure in my decision? Do I "stick it out bc it should only last a few more days"? Do I run away to Mexico and poop this baby out and come back with an awesome tan?

What to do, what to do...


morgan said...

whatever you do...please, do not "poop" your child out as you described in this scenario :"Do I run away to Mexico and poop this baby out and come back with an awesome tan?"

Just sayin' ;)

Chelsea said...

I'm testing the blog to see if i can leave a comment.

usually a window pops up asking me to sign into my twitter account to leave a comment. I wasn't sure if you had the two linked or if that was the reason why I couldn't leave comments before.

(i left a big old whopping comment a few weeks back and your blog deleted it, so i gave up. Now i just send you messages.) ;)

Mae Burke said...

Oh sweet!! Glad it's working now!

rachel.lyn said...

wean that child!!!
and don't let anyone (including yourself) feel bad about it. you sound to me like you are done done done. and i do not blame you. nursing and pregnant is not a good least for me it wasn't. not when you are nauseous and sore!

i may be reading this wrong, but to me you sound like you've already come to a decision you'd be happy with...which is weaning. it'd most likely only take her a few days to adjust, and yes it'd be hard, and yes you will cry (and she will cry), but in all honesty, she is probably ready. she just has a habit she doesn't want to break. whenever she comes to you to nurse, offer her something else.

you will be a happier mama in the end and that is what matters :)


Mrs. Beer said...

You do what's easiest for you! I say congrats for lasting as long as you have! You go momma pants!