Do you see this face?
Tired, worn out, one might even venture into the realm of "to' up".
And this face?
This is Lily.
Going through withdrawals, I'm sure of it.
So what if I picked the worst pictures that I've ever seen of either of us...
It has been 72 hours since we started weaning. She has nursed [briefly!] only twice in this time [only bc I couldn't remove two very painful clogged ducts with my pump. Babies are the best suckers ;]
The short answer to this is: It didn't feel right anymore. For those of you who kept nursing your 5-546 year olds...you won't know what I mean. But for those of you who have unfortunately shared this experience...you know what I mean. I never thought I'd be so physically distraught because Lily was nursing, nor did I ever think I'd cry after getting over the first few days of newly nursing, but I was and I did.
Whenever we go through something new with Lily, I usually bitc...talk about it on Facebook, usually to comments saying "Let me know how it goes! I've been trying to do that with Soandso and NOTHING has worked!"
I have to say...I have never been a fan of that logic. There are a few exceptions, but most of the time that I get that "We've tried everything" it means they've tried two things, each for no more than a day, it didn't work right away, so they gave up. And it always annoys the crap out of me when they complain OVER AND OVER again about how they'd wish soandso would do suchandsuch when they never really tried.
So when it came time for Lily to quit her habit, I decided cold turkey was best. I know my family so well and anytime anyone tries to wean themselves off anything in my family...it never works. Wanna quit drinking? Don't buy anymore beer. Don't drink anymore beer. Stop smoking? Stop buying cigarettes . Don't smoke any cigarettes. Wanna get your 3 year old to stop sucking on a retarded binky? Throw the damn thing away. Don't buy any more binkies. I wanted to get Lily to stop breastfeeding. So I stopped breastfeeding her. That's it people. That's how it works. People write dumb books and make million dollars off of dvd series on what's the "Godliest way to Sleep Train your kid" but if you want something done, pray, and do it. SERIOUSLY. It sucks for a few days, but it will get better.
After the first 24, my boobs were bigger than Ms. Dolly Parton herself. I thought about taking a picture, but then thought my blog would get all sorts of unwanted attention. They were like...alien eggs. You could see all of the ducts and it was just freaky.
Ok, ok, enough about the physical details, right? How are we doing emotionally?
Better than I thought I'd be in some ways, worse in others.
I never, *ahem* NEVER thought I'd wean Lily. Mom's who wean their babies are selfish, uncaring, biatches who don't know what's best for their kids...said stupid me. I always thought about what a beautiful gesture of affection breastfeeding was for Lily, and for all babies. I always just assumed that with the lack of breastfeeding there was a lack of affection. What I failed to realize is that affection has to be shown in more creative ways. Kisses, holding, reading, sweet moments just sitting on the kitchen floor playing with pans, talking about what "Russ" could possibly be thinking about in his little dog brain have all been a lot more frequent around here.
That's all been wonderful.
The crying, hitting, scratching, and outright unrulliness of the first two days were not. I thought I was gonna break. But we've come out of it. We've gone to bed, taken naps, and even recovered from a Rusty V Lily battle...all without nursing.
I think we're gonna make it. I'll keep you posted on how we're doing in the meantime. I also want to thank you all for all of the supportive emails, phone calls, comments on FB, you've been rad and a half!!! Which reminds me....YOU ALL NEED TO COMMENT HERE!! There's a comment section for a reason ;] Don't be scurred.
Have a great weekend everyone!!