Last night Eamon took his ladies out to The Cheesecake Factory to
make up for dragging us to Bass Pro Shop to buy some dumb knife because he loves us so much. There was a quiet moment where all three of us were eating. We were in a booth, Lily between Eamon and me. She was munching away at her broccoli, kicking her feet back and forth over the edge, totally enjoying the moment. I totally swooned as I saw what a little lady she was being. Then, Baby kicked. I got totally overwhelmed by the fact that we only have so many more moments to be a family of three. But instead of crying and moping and being a total drag, I embraced it.
You're 18 months old now! Your baby chub is slowly disappearing from your face, arms, and legs. Your little hands are now capable of helping mama. Your gummy smile is completely gone, replaced with beautiful white teeth that you show off proudly every time you laugh. The past six months have been so eventful for you, but you have taken the punches [and the falls] and been flexible for mama and dad.
In the next six months, your world is going to change. You're going to be a big sister! That baby growing in mama's belly button is gonna come out soon and I will have two babies to take care of. Mama worries about whether or not I can do it, and whether or not I'm being selfish by taking time away from the days of just you and me, but the Lord told me something great last night.
"I made you pregnant now, so that you can be a mother of two now. I made you pregnant now so Lily can be a big sister now."
Guilt has left my heart, baby. My new charge for now is to prepare you to be a big sister, and to continue to raise you with patience, love, and grace. I'm going to savor every last tantrum you throw, every time you ask me to kiss your finger, every raspberry you blow on my belly... My love for you is unending darlin. I'm beyond thrilled that YOU have been the baby girl God sent me, that YOU are my first born, and that I've gotten to spend the 18 months of my motherhood journey with YOU and you alone. Time is moving so fast, but I'm holding on to you as tight as I can for now.
I cannot wait to see what the Lord has planned for this little girl all before she turns TWO!