It seems like I'm going through another time of transition, and this one is going to be long too. Something I learned from my labor with Norah though, is that I dare not fight it.
Lily cried almost every time I nursed Norah, which lead to me putting Norah in her swing a lot [and using a pacifier...shoot me] Norah couldn't sleep for more than about 15 mins since 2 pm, and couldn't nurse for more than 5 for some reason [I FINALLY got her to sleep an hour ago by strapping her in the Moby and rocking her. I'm terrified to take her out and try to go to sleep myself though.] and I feel like I'm at a breaking point, but actually have no idea what that means.
I've had some amazing friends ask to take Lily so Norah and I can get some rest, but it's been such a hard thing to deal with. Since we don't have any family here, Lily's never been anywhere without Eamon or me. So we have to deal with, "No, I promise she'll bring you back" on top of "No, we aren't sending you away because Norah's here" on top of "Please don't kill my child with peanuts, here's the Epi-Pen." I just don't know what to do at this point.
I read on another mom's blog recently
"But then, I remembered some advice I had heard a long time ago about bringing a new baby home and having an older child (or children) act out.YOU PUT THE BABY DOWN.
You put the baby down as soon as your older kid's behavior has reached a point where you need to act, and you take care of the situation. You discipline. With the same firmness and resolve you would have if you didn't have a newborn in your arms.
Your baby will probably cry.
It's really not the end of the world.
You show your older children that they can not walk all over you, and then you go pick the baby back up again and continue nursing/soothing/smooching the wee one."
and dangit, I have been, but I feel like I've been ignoring my maternal instincts to a certain extent. All of a sudden I have a baby who wants to sleep in a swing and suck on a pacifier...uh...NOT MY KID!! It feels weird, it doesn't feel like I'm being the mom I know I can be, the mom I was for Lily, the mom I WANT to be for Norah. I feel like I'm sneaking in moments with Norah between telling Lily "No", cleaning up her messes, and trying to keep her from freaking out.
I know this is probably all very temporary...but I'm very ready for it to be over...