Give Away Winner!!

SO....A week later. Sheesh!
So sorry it's taken me so long to get back on here :[

I'll just cut to the chase
The Winner, of the highly coveted Muppet Movie tickets is....
*drum roll*

MARGO SNIDER!!!

Email me at maeannette@gmail.com to claim your prize sweet lady!

"Life's A Happy Song, When There's Someone By Your Side To Sing Along"

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!
I hope you have a food hangover from yesterday, I know I do ;]

Yesterday these lovely people

Invited these lovely people

to celebrate Thanksgiving with :]


Erin's little boy, Amos, is smitten with Norah.

We ate some really yummy food,

[not food, but they had the prettiest collection of these adorable Russian nesting dolls. RUSSIAN, how did Jesus know I needed some Russian loving friends?!]

tried to get Lily down for a nap

[that fuh.ailed.]

and spent some time with some really great, loving people.


Afterwards we went to the movies. We've heard about this tradition of going to the movies after Thanksgiving dinner, but never really got it. But last week when Lily found out there's a new Muppet's movie, we new this is something we had to do :]

Lily squealed and giggled and cheered "MUSSSEEETTTTSSS!!!" the minute we got to the movie theater and loved every stinking minute of it. We sat in the upper corner by the stairs so she was free to dance, laugh, cheer, clap, whatever she wanted, without interupting the movie. Watching her face light up at the movies is one of the coolest things. Oh, and she didn't have any extra diapers, but didn't have a single dribble of an accident during the movie! We were proud of her ;]

I can't tell you how much I loved yesterday, it was too awesome. The Muppets just topped it off. I feel like WE were the exact target audience. Like that was mine and Eamon's Muppet movie, you know? There weren't any creep-tastic Tim Currie's, only the most hilarious cameos ever, the humor was classic Muppets, a very cute, sweet story, gah, it was all SO STINKING perfect.

Since we all loved it so much, and my 300th blog post is coming up...

HERE'S A GIVEAWAY!!!!

I'm giving away two tickets to go and see The Muppets!

To enter: Leave a comment telling me what you were grateful for this Thanksgiving. For an extra entry, share it on your blog or facebook page and leave me a comment saying you did so.
Give away is open to anyone with a movie theater near them!!
Winner will be chosen Tuesday morning at random.

Good luck to you all! Hope you have a nice relaxing, long weekend!
Mae

One More to Go.

Last night I got really excited and overwhelmed.
I was about to tell one of my friends who was having a day of remembrance that dates are always hard. Then I realized...September 19th had come and gone without me even noticing.

I suddenly got really exciting thinking that the time had finally come, I had been free of cutting longer than I had been trapped by it, but as I sit down to write this, I realize that it's only been four years since my last relapse. I mean, four years, THAT'S GREAT, but I'm not out of the woods yet. I feel like I HAVE. TO. get to five years. I have to show Satan that my life is not his to toy with, that the Lord's hope is more powerful, and runs deeper than any mind games that snake can conjure. Even as I sat to write this and realized that I had made a mistake, that it's only been four, not five years, I felt him. I felt his gloom, his imprint of disappointment that he leaves on me.
While going through the PPD that came around after Norah, I heard his seductive voice in my ear everyday. He loves it when I melt into that weak weeping woman who was in love with pain, but with support, I did not find comfort of any sort in his prickly grasp. I can hear him telling me to be wary of this next year, to fear what destruction he is capable of causing me driving me to relapse, but I recognize his familiar sneaky tone.

My heart gets tangled in knots thinking about the days where I swore I wouldn't be here, that I'd never see my wedding day, a big swollen belly, or my babies smiles. Today I am thankful for the healing that Jesus has provided for me from the life threatening self imposed sickness of depression and self mutilation. And here's to one more year. Eat shit Satan. My wrists will spill no more blood, the strength I have found in the Lord has reinforced them to hold my babies as they sleep, to hold my husband's hand in never ending support and reach out to my brothers and sisters who need His strength too.

Day One: Thankful for the growth of my business and the supernatural provision that God has given me through it.
Day Two: Thankful for fall foods, cinnamon candles, and cold fronts, creating a balanced, inviting home.
Day Three: Thankful for a husband that loves me and his girls in such a way that it makes me want to be a better wife to him and mother to our babies.
Day Four: Today I am thankful for Norah.
Day Five: I am thankful for co-sleepingDay 6: today I am thankful for laughter. My baby girl's giggles, spit takes caused by Eamon, texts that make me "lol", watchin my mama laugh on skype, all of it
Day seven: I am thankful for the desire to have an organized home
Day Eight:Today I am thankful for my best friends from high school living in DFW. Haven't been to a movie together with them in years, and tonight I get to! 
Day Nine: I am grateful for Mama's Girls
Day Ten: I am grateful for house hunting with my family and getting to look for the perfect place to settle down :]
Day Eleven: I'm thankful for my Papa and my father in law. I'm grateful that they were able to come back home from Vietnam and somber that my Papa was the only one from his small town to do so.
Day Eleven: Today I am also grateful for friendship. The new friendship of a mama with a sweet and familiar heart, and the old friendships who will always remind me that it's Leo's birthday. Love you friends :]
Day Twelve: I am thankful for repeat clients. For their patience to watch me grow and their recomendations that keep my calendar full. Thank you, Jesus for this awesome opportunity!
Day Thirteen:  i'm thankful for family. Blood, chosen, God given, all of it. Love my Rockport family and so glad i get to see my Thailand family today!
Day Fourteen: I'm thankful for the Lord creating a passion in Eamon for his business. I'm so honored when other knife makers and enthusiasts from around the country seek him out to do their finish sharpening :]
Day Fifteen:  since we are *hopefully* finally moving into a house, we're going through all of the furniture we should keep and get rid of. Today I'm thankful that we haven't had to buy any furniture, bedding or appliances the first 3 years of our marriage.
Day Sixteen: I am grateful for God's healing.


We're going to look at a house that sounds absolutely perfect for us Thursday afternoon, if you'd like to pray for us, pray that the home is in line with God's vision of where he wants us and that we will know exactly what to do when we walk through those doors :]



Happy Thursday All!
Mae

Mama's Girl. How Awful.

Gonna be a whole lotta whining in this post, with absolutely no need of a pity party, just venting. You've been warned.

" While you were judging me you should have thought 'Is it possible that she has no one else to watch after her children, leaving her as the only one to hold her child except for her husband on occasion by default?' before you said 'Oh...Mama's girl, are we?' with that look on your face. While you're at it, please raise two small children on your own with no help and get back to me before you judge my parenting techniques."

Almost said this to a near to her grave, very well intentioned elderly woman at the store recently.
It's been that pent up in me.

I've been getting that same look for months.Now this old lady didn't deserve it, and thank God I didn't actually say it, but every frikkin time I hear this, accompanied with the held tilt, eyebrow raise, and lip pierce, I have to use up every ounce of energy I posses to remain graceful.

This raising kids on our own is wearing on me y'all. It's getting under my skin.
Every time I hear a friend talk about how she can't wait for her mom/inlaw to come over and cook/clean/alleviate insanity I want to just scream.

Let me vent for just a second.
My mom has never [been able to] come over to clean my house while I take the kids to the park. [though I did have friends help me keep the house clean the week before/after Norah was born, which I am grateful for] She has never [been able to] taken my kids to the park/store/movies so I can sleep.
Eamon and I have been on three dates since Lily was born, all of them over a year ago. Three. Total. I'm not even talking about "grown up dates" or "dress up dates" or whatever it is that most couples whine about missing. I'm talking me and Eamon out of the house together, at the same time, sans children. The last date we went on was in October of last year, and that's because we were in Rockport.
Norah does not take a bottle. Both times I've left her to go work past her bedtime, she's cried non stop for four hours straight.
Eamon has made trips to Rockport by himself, so he technically has had nights away from our girls, not me. Every single night of her life, Lily has been no more than a room away.

So what do I do?
Move back to Rockport is the immediate answer. We've tried. every 3-6 months for the past two years. It's just not in the cards for us. Our family cannot survive in that place.
Make good friends and have them help you out. Well, I'm trying. BUT, when your baby doesn't drink from a bottle, you only have one car which the husband takes to work because he has a never ending bleeding toe, and a house that is apparently so disgusting because I'm so worn out of constantly picking shit up that no one wants to come here and I always have to meet them somewhere, ya. It's not going that great. I guess. I don't know.

When in Austin one of my friends was talking about how worn out she was. About how glad she was to just get a break and recoup to be a better mommy. I bet I sounded like a Grade A Snob when I said "I just can't go there" when she asked if I knew what she meant. I just can't get in that mindset of "HOW FREAKING AWFUL IS THIS RIGHT NOW?! I'm so ready for XYZ so this will be over." There is no grandma coming to pick the kids up. There is no next door neighbor watching the girls for a night. And there most definitely is no end to the "Ahh, Norah/Lily's here" in a sweet voice and then the look of "poor you" on a friend's face. And, you know, I guess there is no time for me to recoup and become a better mommy.

I'm just.
I'm just sick of it. I don't even want it to change at this point. I just want to be done being insecure about it, being defensive about it, BEING SICK OF IT. I'm so freakin grateful for the resevour of patience and contentment that the Lord has given me for over two years, but hot damn. What the heck are you supposed to do when they run dry? I mean come on. My whole family is asleep and I can't settle down because I just need to get this off my chest And I'm dreading the feeling that people will get all sappy and pitiful on me "Oh my god, you're life is so hard, you're a better mom than me, I don't know how you do it, I'd jump off your surprisingly low balcony." I don't need that.
I need..shoot, just to vent. To get an "Amen!" For someone to say "DAMN you look good wearing that small child in that Boba even though you haven't had a full night's rest in God knows how long, haven't ate good food in six months" [not true, but who's life isn't better with dairy and eggs?! WHO'S?!] and I'll give you one more, I need other moms to be more grateful for the help they have! God bless your mom's for wanting to deal with miniature you's again! They already done it once, they don't have to again!

Hmm...
I guess on Day 9, I'm grateful for my Mama's Girls. I mean, there are far worse things they could be, sister wive's for one. I'm grateful for the strength the Lord is pouring through my reluctant body allowing me to just go. To just do it. To pop these kids out, nurse em, love em, literally always be there for em, and I guess on occasion, give them a bath [add that to list of why people don't want to hang out with you AND your children, Mae. Sheesh.] And for the inspiration that said attached Mama's girls give me to write hilariously depressing blog posts about what a frustrating joke my life is. Can be. Yeah, can be.

We now returned to our regularly scheduled broadcast of puppies and pig tails. Thank you for your patience while we deal with routine maintenance.

Happy...Wednesday, yes, the clock says it's now Wednesday, fellow sleep deprived friends. Happy Wednesday.

October Made Me Thankful

So it's been a month since I blogged. A month.
I took last month, which wasn't as busy as September to focus on my family.
I straightend out our finances, made some delicious food, prayed for insight into my husband's and girl's hearts, and welcomed cooler weather [FINALLY!]

Here's a video from Halloween:



I'm participating in the 30 Day Thankfulness Challenge in hopes that it will prepare me for the 365 Gratefulness project that I'd like to do next year. I think I'll post a pic and short blog here to keep me motivated.
Day One: Thankful for the growth of my business and the supernatural provision that God has given me through it.
Day Two: Thankful for fall foods, cinnamon candles, and cold fronts, creating a balanced, inviting home.
Day Three: Thankful for a husband that loves me and his girls in such a way that it makes me want to be a better wife to him and mother to our babies.

which brings us to Day Four: Today I am thankful for Norah.
This past week, while it's gotten chili, my "I never wanna let you go" instincts have kicked into high gear with Norah. Lily is my first, there are so many reasons I am thankful for her and love her in such a deep way, but Norah is...different. I fought for her, I begged and bartered and belted out for Jesus's support and strength to birth her. I've changed my entire life for her, in ways I never had to with Lily. Her sweetness is evident to everyone who meets her. Her smile melts my heart. Her adventurousness rivals that of her sister's. SHE just...ahh...she's my itty bitty.

The past two nights she has slept since her bedtime leaving me time to clean the house and edit til late at night. When I'm done, I've just scooped her up and brought her into bed to nurse and we've cuddled under the warm sheets. I debated on whether or not to share this bc of how intimate it is, but there's so much of this that is us. Sleepy, post nurse, scratched up, adorable little cheeks, eyelashes. I am blessed.

Have a great weekend y'all!
Mae

Our Weekend in Pictures: Vacation

We took a mini vacation this weekend to Austin to visit friends and eat...a lot ;]

I'll edit pictures later, but here's some fun video of our trip.



Happy Monday!
Mae

Fall Fashion Week - Thursday

Got one quick pic of what I was wearing today!

Why this is watermarked...I don't freakin know. But I needed to increase my chances for winning the big prize so NO time for changes ;]
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Shirt: Old Navy
Skirt: Ross
Necklace: Amber necklace for the win

Go check out what all these other pretty ladies were wearing this week!

Togetherness Anxiety Caused by Separation Anxiety

[I've been editing ALL. WEEK. So I haven't had any time to do Fall Fashion week :[ so bummed!]

Right now I'm in the thick of it with Norah. On top of the normal six month [holy crap :[ she's six months old!] old "If you are more than two feet away from me I might die, or at least cry like I am" I'm having to constantly deal with her little cheeks :[
I actually was able to put her in her crib one night, but when I got up to get her in the wee morning, I didn't notice that when she woke up crying she scratched up her cheeks so bad her pillow case and sheet were blood stained :[ I've restricted my diet so much, it's really getting to me. It's not like when you're trying to lose weight. If I cheat, Norah suffers terribly, it's not like I just won't get to a goal any faster or something. I've lost all 30 pounds of the pregnancy plus 15 because of the diet. BUT I'm struggling because I know how wonderful real dairy and eggs are for you. Ugh. This is a constant issue in my head right now.

BUUUUT
Hopefully I'll be getting a break! We're going on a mini vacation to Austin tomorrow :]
I get to hang out with this lady

And this lady

[she's gonna kill me]

So these ladies

and this lady

and these babies

All get to hang out!
There will be lots of vegan food with a side of steak, pedicures, baby playing, hotel pool swimming, room trashing, tons of pictures and most likely a tad bit of poop and blood that follow the Burkes everywhere ;]

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
Mae

Our Weekend in Pictures: Mama Can't Cook

Ok, I can.
And I do. ALWAYS.
But I was not feelin it this weekend.
We were supposed to make pizza Friday night.

We went to the chiro's to get adjusted and afterwards, I was just not feelin messin' with dough.
SO we got Cafe Medi.

Saturday I woke up at 5:45 to play with new editing software I got [Shoot me in the face. Hate/Love this side of digital photography] Headed out to a shoot at 8, shot til 10, went to JBF [and KILLED 42 items including pjs, pants, shirts, sweaters, coats, tights, leggings, onesies, and shoes! for $140] Came home, ate lunch, cleaned house, went to another shoot at 5 shot til 7 and was like. Shit. I have to make pizza. Passed a BBQ place and was like...YES that's what I want. Called Eamon to get Lily dressed [Norah was screaming her head off with me]

 ribalicious

That BBQ place was apparently the most popular place in town so we went to another and it was DAMN good. They just got done with a rush so they didn't have much left so they basically gave us a bunch of free food. It was fantastic.

This is what Lily decided to wear when she got ready for bed :]
Eamon went to get her the next morning when she woke up and found this :

Sunday we did the Central Market thing. By last night I chugged my cider before my pizza was even halfway done, put the girls to bed, and called it a night!

This week I've got to edit all of this weekend's sessions to get ready for our weekend in Austin. We've actually never taken Lily! It was supposed to be a me and Norah trip but I couldn't leave them with no car and...shh, I still have never spent a night without Lily! SO I decided to make a family trip out of it :]


I'll be back later with some Fall[ish] Fashion
Happy Monday!

Fall Fashion Week - Sunday

All mom's go to the grocery store in sheer tops don't ya know... ;]

Norah & Lily are wearing
Norah [she has eczema for my non regular readers]
Bow: Made
Cord Dress: Consigned
Diaper: Peed in
Lily
Top: OshKosh Consigned
Tights: Consigned
Way frikkin cute shoes not pictured: Consigned

Today I'm wearing: [please ignore the dumb face and spit up on clothes.]
Flowers: Made
Top: Ruche gifted
Pants: Land's End gifted [these were my "one day when I'm skinny enough I'll get to wear these" pants. AND THEY'RE BIG!!!]

I'm pretty sure within the next two days my outfits are going to come to a screeching halt ;]
Happy weekend all!

Fall Fashion Week - Saturday

Welp, I've followed this for years but never actually done it...

So I figured, WHY THE HECK NOT?!
SURELY I can come up with one week's worth of decent outfits. Here's outift #1 fit for Texas Fall.

Bow: Made
Shirt: Gifted
Shorts: Old Navy
Belt: Thrifted
Shoes: Should be thrown away Target

JUST BETWEEN FRIENDS is today! I get to go buy my lady babies lots of pretty new clothes for Fall/Winter.

Uh...

I was writing about how exhausted I am...but I'm seriously too exhausted.
Back on FB, already regretting it.

This is what Norah is up to now.

You can see more of "Norah Grows" series here.

I've got shoots and baby girls clothes shopping this weekend, what about you?

TGIF
Mae

Our Weekend in Pictures: Summer's winding down

Friday:
Holy smokes people, we saw The Lion King.
I was extremely excited to take Lily to see it. It was the first movie I ever saw in theaters, I was thrilled that it came back out :]

After the movie was over we walked outside to an amazing downpour. We were supposed to make pizza, but we decided to go to Freebird's instead. How can you go wrong with The Lion King and burritos? [Lily's been roaring all weekend, hilarity.]

Saturday:

While I was getting ready for a friend's birthday brunch, Lily decided to get all dressed up too ;]

Later that evening, Eamon had a [long ass] business call which left me trying to get the girls to stay quiet for THREE HOURS. So...while I was supposed to be making pizza for dinner, Eamon said we should go out. So to Southlake we went for Central Market!

Sunday:
I actually took the girls out all by myself to the grocery store, it went so smoothly! Thank you, Jesus.
I got lots of editing done, made some FANTASTIC golden chicken broth and then made pizza for dinner :]

Right as we were getting Lily ready for bed, it started pouring outside again :] Lily and Eamon went out on the stairs and watched. Gah, I love them.

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend!
Happy Monday,
Mae

Blogher? I hardly know her!

So...

Looks like I'm going to be a part of the Blogher publishing network. Cool HUH?
I've been super busy editing this week but wanted to let you know that this little ol' blog's gonna get a makeover soon :]

First up will be the addition of  a "Norah Grows" page :]
Go check her out, she's frikkin adorable.

Our Weekend in Pictures: Fall is Here...Almost

Friday I started working out again. It's freakin tough, especially living upstairs and having to haul this thing up and down the stairs every day, but we'll see. Having thighs that don't touch might be worth it ;]

I let Lily listen to Eamon's iPod to keep her busy.

Saturday I had TWO shoots at the ass crack of dawn and when I got back Eamon went to Wichita Falls for the day. So there are no pictures to share, lol. It was long, tiring, and aggravating ;] My computer had ZERO memory on it left so I had to wait to get an external hard drive for it. Who knew my pictures were taking up 75 gigs...lalalala.

Sunday was the tenth anniversary of September 11th. My mind had been reeling all night thinking about that day, about the way my world has changed since then, what I think about the "never forget" mentality, the "us versus them" mentality...all of it. Well anyway. We got in the car to head to Central Market, as our usual weekend schedule dictates. NPR and mostly everyone else was playing different coverage of memorial services. [Go check out this week's broadcast of This American Life] So we get to Central Market and get in line at the cafe for lunch. We see the cashier standing where she usually does. Every time we come in she lights up and totally falls for Lily. She's always so nice and gives Lily special treatment :]
I noticed immediately she was having a rough day. Her eyes were puffy, her hair was kinda messy, she looked really distracted. And she wasn't wearing her Hijab.
I almost started crying for her. She almost always has it on, especially on Sunday's, but because of everyone's heightened ethnic/racial sensitivity yesterday, she wasn't allowed to keep her modesty. My heart broke for her. I thought "Would her employers make her take her scarf off if she were Jewish on Good Friday?" We ordered our food, sat down and ate. I asked Eamon if he noticed and he even said that it looked like she was having a rough day. I couldn't get her off of my mind.


















I asked Eamon to get Lily started shopping while I went to the restroom, when I came out, I went back to the ordering line. When she had a minute I pulled her close and hugged her. I whispered in her I was sorry that she wasn't allowed to wear her hijab, and that I was looking forward to seeing her pretty scarves. I told her I was praying for her [safety and peace] for the day and that she was loved. She choked back tears and said "No, it's ok, I'm ok...I'll be ok. Thank you." and she went back to her station.
I know she get's looks every time we're in there and she's wearing her pretty scarves, and I know every year must be hard for her, but I can't begin to imagine what she [and other Muslims] went through yesterday. It's hard to say you wouldn't look at them or treat them differently. I mean, I DID!

At the beginning of this year, one of my goals was to be a kinder, more loving person. When I was sitting on the toilet at Central Market, I felt Jesus tell me to hug my sister, regardless of how awkward it seemed, because if He was there with me, it wouldn't be. He was right.

[Lily. Hates pictures.]

I hope you all had a lovely weekend, can you feel Autumn in the air?! It's coming soon!

Happy Monday,
Mae